Fly on the Wall – November

Fly on the Wall

Have you ever wished you could be a fly on the wall in someone’s home? Each month a group of brave bloggers lets you in through that pesky hole in the screen so you can see what really goes on when they think no one is watching. This month there are 13 of us who are doing our dirty laundry in public. Come and see! When you’re finished with my post, please click on the links below and visit the other 12 crazy women.
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Whew, what an eventful month! Not all sunshine and roses, but enough drama to rate my own reality show.

 

Love me some babies!

Love me some babies!

I babysat twin baby boys for a weekend. Holy CRAP! They are wonderful, sweet, easygoing babies, but it’s been a few decades since I was solely responsible for even ONE infant. Two was a little daunting (I’m glad I’m not footing that diaper bill) but so much fun. I’d been needing a baby fix and I got it. Sweet gummy baby smiles made up for all the diapers, even if I did come home smelling like eau de spit up!

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Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

So much for Halloween around here. No trick or treaters. Nada. The first few years we lived here I bought candy bars “just in case”. The kind I like, of course…Butterfingers, Reese’s, Snickers. I’ve finally given up hope, and the only concession to Halloween was my “BOO!” shirt and these contacts. I think the wrinkles scare me more than the eyeballs, though. Eeeeeek!

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Poor, neglected menfolk.

PLEASE don’t vote for The Rowdy Baker…we want our cook back!!!

Poor guys – life was pretty rough for them during the Blogger Idol competition. Just when my sprained ankle was healing and the man got to turn in his apron, I got all involved with Idol. It was a blast, but it took a lot out of me, and meals were pretty much uninspired nonexistent. They were hungry. Oh, so hungry.

Then the ups and downs of being a contestant on Blogger Idol came to a halt. I wrote a post that I loved, but unfortunately the judges were unimpressed. So much for fame and fortune! I was on my way to a funeral six hours away when my husband called to tell me I’d been eliminated. I was bummed – but under the sad circumstances, getting the boot from Idol didn’t seem all that devastating. There’s nothing like losing a good friend to put losing a contest into perspective!

The whole Idol experience was…well…eye opening! Behind the scenes is a raunchy, sometimes shockingly explicit, hysterically funny world where drama runs rampant and egos are often bruised. I met some wonderful people. In fact (yes, shameless plug here) my friend Jen is still going strong and is in the top five. Voting is today, until midnight central time, so if you have 10 seconds to spare, would you please click on this link and vote for Real Life Parenting? You don’t have to sign in or anything…just scroll down to the blue area and vote! If I couldn’t win the coveted #1 spot, I’d sure love to see her get it.

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Bad boy Otis has pushed his luck again. At least it didn’t involve pulling stuffing out of furniture this time, but….EEEEEUUUUWW! What the…?

WHAT is that SMELL??!!

WHAT is that SMELL??!!

His first bath. He didn't like it.

His first bath. He didn’t like it.

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Hunting season came and went. We’re 3 for 3, folks! 3 for 3!  Here’s how it went down:

Youngest son (aka: Lord Voldemort) got his buck first. He worked hard for that deer. Hours of scouting and setting up cameras in the woods paid off and he got a very nice whitetail. He rubbed it in a bit, because his dad hadn’t gotten one yet. He’d wave his little hunting tag holder around, talking about how light it was feeling since he’d tagged a bear and a deer.

I bought my first license this year – not because I wanted to hunt, but because I’d told Lord V that I would buy a deer tag if he would watch Chicago all the way through, which he did. Now, technically I just had to buy a tag. I didn’t say I would actually shoot a deer! But those tags are $45 – and I hated the thought that it would go unfilled. There were also some heated “discussions” about the implied meaning of the bet. So…I said I’d try, but didn’t know if I could actually pull the trigger.

You know that healing ankle I talked about? Turns out it wasn’t really healing. It was just waiting to bite me in the ass again. Apparently I ruptured one ligament completely and tore another. So here I am in an air boot, in plenty of pain (when I’m not actively taking…ahem… liquid pain relief) and I’m supposed to bag a deer? I took the easy way out. We have 20 acres and a lot of deer on our hill, so I sat in the shop with my .243 pointed out the window and got lucky at daybreak on day two. I got a perfect shot at 240 yards. I think the distance helped, because I couldn’t see his big beautiful eyes.

Bittersweet moment

Bittersweet moment

 

My deer was smaller than Lord V’s, but we still joined forces to tease and torture The Man. We were pretty relentless, but it’s not often that we get that opportunity. He paid us back by getting a buck that was very similar to Lord V’s.

So…guess what I’ve been doing?

Canning venison. Lots of venison.

Canning venison. Lots of venison.

fly1gifcroppedYou know how I always tell a story on my husband? This isn’t a story, per se. It’s more like me, venting. I try not to whine on Facebook, but I posted this and it got some interesting responses.

I was complaining because there were a whole bunch of really cute shoes on a website I was in, and it had just occurred to me that in all likelihood I would never be able to wear heels again because of this stupid ankle. That’s a big deal. I love heels, though I rarely have an opportunity to wear them. I’m short – heels help! The man just looked at me blankly and said “Why would you want to wear them at 60?” OK. In the first place, I am NOT 60 yet. Not for 14 months and 9 days. And…(sputter)…seriously? I’m just supposed to throw in the towel and start wearing sensible shoes and a plastic rain cap? I was alternating between finding this hysterically funny and horribly insulting.

Excuse me, but I’ll have to catch you next month. I believe there’s a Lawrence Welk Marathon coming on. ..

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Check out these fun blogs!!!

Baking In a Tornado
Stacy Sews and Schools
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
Follow Me Home
Moore Organized Mayhem
Spatulas on Parade
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others
The Momisodes
Moms Don’t Say That
Juicebox Confession

14 thoughts on “Fly on the Wall – November

  1. OMG, Lorinda! I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking my tea at the end of this one!! I would have spit it all over my computer at that last line!! Lawrence Welk Marathon!!! Perfect ending!!!!

    Sounds like the hubby deserved all the ribbing he got about the deer with a comment like that, btw!!

    The pics of your pooch made me smile so much. He does NOT look amused by the bath. Poor thing! 😉

    And, you are so sweet!! I can honestly say that the best part of the whole Blogger Idol experience has been the people–and you’re my favoritest people of them all!! My bes fren!!! Thanks so much for supporting me. Fingers crossed that with your awesome peeps and mine I’ll make it all the way!!

    XOXO

    • I’m counting on it, Jen! Then I can say: “I drank wine with her when she was a nobody….er….lowly blogger…no, that’s not right…an upcoming star!” That’s it!

  2. Poor puppy totally made me laugh. He does not look happy. But then he looks happier than your deer.

    I thought most people froze venison meat, you’ll have to let us know what you do with canned venison.

    • We freeze a lot of it, but the canned is my favorite. It’s really tender and tends to be less “gamey”, and since I regularly forget to get something out of the freezer in time to thaw it, the canned stuff comes in handy. And when the Zombie Appocalypse occurs and we lose electricity, we’ll still have meat! The guys just eat it out of the jar, or make a sandwich spread out of it. I put it in sauces and dump it over rice or pasta.

      More than you wanted to know about venison, right?

  3. I love a good baby fix. Two might have made me a little nervous.
    Those contacts are so neat!
    Kudos on the buck. So smart to set up comfortably. I could shoot it but cleaning it would be a whole different story.
    I hope you share some venison recipes. I grew up with deer jerky that ruined me on the store bought stuff forever.
    I love that I always learn something AND have a laugh with you.
    Sorry about the loss of your friend. *hugs*

    • I’m definitely going to be posting some game recipes – they may not be going viral on Pinterest, but ’tis the season! Hubby’s working on his deer today, and I told him to save me some pieces for jerky. I’ve never made it before, and want to try.
      Thanks for the hugs 🙂 The friend was someone I went through school with – so hard to accept. It’s made me realize that family and friends are EVERYTHING. The rest is just filler.

    • Yee HAW! I just got permission to self-medicate! Though I’m not thinking it’s a good preventative…I’m a real lightweight (drinking-wise, not weight-wise) and I can’t say I’m real coordinated even stone cold sober. It’s not quite as embarrassing to say I sprained it in the woods, as it would be to admit I tripped over the couch in a drunken stupor.
      But I like the way you think 🙂

    • Thank you, Stacy!
      I think it goes beyond shoes, right? I don’t think we’re ever old enough to just throw in the towel. My grandma always had her hair done, was nicely dressed, and had her little spots of rouge in place. We have STANDARDS. (I’m so glad you can’t see me right now)

  4. First of all, I am so sorry to read about you losing a friend. So hard.
    Second, I don’t know whether to congratulate you for that deer OR the fact that you got your boy all the way through Chicago! Cheers to both. Heal that ankle so you can buy stilettos. They will go beautifully with your walker. Make sure the tennis balls on the feet of it match the shoes!

    • Thanks, Michele. Wild month. I had to promise not to sing if my son watched Chicago. Total torture for me!
      I love the idea of the stiletto and walker combination. I’ll be the hit of the nursing home. 😉

  5. I’m sorry about all the negative you’ve had, but hey, you got a deer, so wootness for you! And forgive your hubs…..he’s a man and doesn’t get it. I LOVE heels, but I never wear them. I just want them ’cause their pretty!

  6. Lots of positive too. And yes, I’m chalking up the heel conversation to hubby being clueless. I’ve been slowly getting rid of my heel collection since I’m retired now. There’s not a lot of use for them when I’m cleaning the chicken coop. But a few pair are nice for special occasions.
    I’m going to be the most conscientious patient the physical therapy place has ever seen!

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