{"id":1810,"date":"2013-10-13T14:49:36","date_gmt":"2013-10-13T21:49:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.therowdybaker.com\/?p=1810"},"modified":"2013-10-15T11:47:13","modified_gmt":"2013-10-15T18:47:13","slug":"blogger-idol-week-2-assignment-cookie-enterprise-crumbles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.therowdybaker.com\/?p=1810","title":{"rendered":"Blogger Idol Week 2 Assignment “Cookie Enterprise Crumbles”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The
\n \"Blog6 <\/span><\/a>RICE, Wash. (AP)\u2015Following a tip from an informant, federal agents converged on the tiny town of Rice, Wash., Tuesday, as a local woman known as \u201cThe Rowdy Baker\u201d was arrested for baking and selling marijuana-laden cookies to Golden Years, a nearby geriatric care facility.<\/p>\n

Marijuana use became legal in Washington in 2012, but the federal government does not officially recognize the new law.<\/p>\n

Drug Enforcement Administration agent Richard Head said, \u201cWe can\u2019t have her distributing drugs to the elderly; those old folks are easily led astray. It\u2019s a gateway drug, and there\u2019s no telling where it could go from there.\u00a0 The seniors start eating her sugar cookies to help them sleep, and before you know it the old farts are selling them at the elementary school.\u201d<\/p>\n

When searched by DEA agents, Golden Years yielded no contraband cookies. The owner of the facility, Bud Fatty, claimed no knowledge of the special cookies. Staff and residents were not available for comment, as they were all either asleep or in the meal hall at the time.<\/p>\n

Confidential sources report that a senior citizen rally is planned for tomorrow at the courthouse, demanding The Rowdy Baker\u2019s release. Local hospitals report a sudden surge in admissions with severe symptoms of anxiety and depression. An orderly at the Rice Medical Clinic was injured when two elderly patients fought over a spider plant in the waiting room.<\/p>\n

When reached for comment The Rowdy Baker, shocked by the allegations, said, \u201cI didn\u2019t do it! At least I don\u2019t remember doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Rowdy Baker, also known as Lorinda McKenna, has been under the scrutiny of the Rice Police Department for months. She has been reported to local authorities several times this year, after neighbors caught glimpses of her tending her crops topless.<\/p>\n

\n

\"topless <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Alleged drug seller enjoying the sun in her garden.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

One neighbor agreed to speak under strict anonymity.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s disgusting,\u201d the neighbor reported. \u201cShe goes out there without a shirt on and thinks we can\u2019t see her! If I put my spotting scope on the edge of my porch I get an eyeful, and let me tell you\u2015it\u2019s nothing to write home about!\u201d The neighbor provided photographic proof of his allegations.<\/p>\n

Russell \u201cRusshole\u201d McKenna, The Rowdy Baker\u2019s husband, was brought in for questioning but was later released when he claimed, \u201cI don\u2019t know nothing about it. You never know what that nutcase is going to do next!\u201d<\/p>\n

The couple\u2019s three children have declined to comment.<\/p>\n

Animal Rescue was alerted to the possibility that pets in the Rowdy Baker household could be at risk and are evaluating current conditions. At Russell McKenna\u2019s insistence they are putting two cats up for adoption that he claimed \u201care total stoners\u201d, though he assured authorities that the dog and nineteen chickens were completely drug free.<\/p>\n

\n

\"HPIM0930.JPG\" <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

One of two at-risk cats awaiting adoption due to possible drug-addiction problems.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cProper action will be taken\u201d assured Ima Biddy, coordinator of the rescue shelter. She collected a large baggie of what appeared to be catnip for extensive testing.<\/p>\n

Helicopters hovered over the McKenna\u2019s twenty-acre compound where locals lined the unpaved road, watching as officers confiscated armloads of green matter.<\/p>\n

Neighboring farmer Steve Floyd said, \u201cThose city boys just got themselves a big pile of tomato plants, but I sure ain\u2019t tellin\u2019 them bastards.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\"The <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

The McKennas wait for customers at their roadside stand.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

A friend and neighbor of The Rowdy Baker said, \u201cThey\u2019re not looking in the right place. She cans and freezes everything. I wondered why all that bear lard in her freezer was green. Losing her cookie profit is going to really hurt, because their roadside stand doesn\u2019t do too well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neighbors report that as The Rowdy Baker was being wrestled into the squad car she shrieked loudly, \u201cI\u2019m freakin\u2019 Pollyanna, you idiots! I just want everyone to be happy!\u201d<\/p>\n

Because of the actions of the DEA, there is no happiness to be found in Rice today.<\/p>\n

\"judges\" <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

I have never wanted a special cookie more than I do now after reading this. I read the entire thing with a smile on my face and thoroughly enjoyed your \u201carrest.\u201d I loved loved loved loved how you set up your jokes (ie \u2013 neighbor with scope and pictures). I cannot wait for your next piece. Great job you pot smoking hippie.
\n–Manderstanding<\/a><\/p>\n

I really enjoyed this piece and felt that it was very well written. It flowed well and didn\u2019t get overly wordy or too drawn-out. Excellent work.
\n–Non-Stop Mom<\/a><\/p>\n

Ha! Your husband giving up the cats for adoption made me laugh out loud\u2013my husband would give my cat away in an instant, and would not hesitate to bring up her excessive catnip habit when he did it. I thought this was very imaginative and funny, and I really enjoyed reading it!
\n–Crazed In The Kitchen<\/a><\/p>\n

Nice job. Read just like an newspaper article. I love that you sold spiked sugar cookies to the elderly, although I was kind of waiting for you to hit someone over the head with your rolling pin.
\n–Ice Scream Mama<\/a><\/p>\n

This was very on target for me! I really loved it. The humor that you aimed for was successful, it was in a great, flowing format, and the pictures were an awesome touch. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the the statements such as \u201cfighting over a spider plant.\u201d This had great imagery and was HIGHLY entertaining. Great job!
\n–Razorblade Brain<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RICE, Wash. (AP)\u2015Following a tip from an informant, federal agents converged on the tiny town of Rice, Wash., Tuesday, as a local woman known as \u201cThe Rowdy Baker\u201d was arrested for baking and selling marijuana-laden cookies to Golden Years, a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1834,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[80],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogger-idol"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t