Week One Assignment: Write your own eulogy.
ODE TO A BAKER
The Rowdy Baker is no more
With tears and wails we say goodbye
To one who never found a chore
In baking love with cake and pie
Those who knew her (to appease)
Found it wisest to retire
Well outside the boundaries
Of sacred space and baker’s ire.
No careful measures would one see
No graceful steps or calm routine
She scoffed at dull tranquility
Basked in stress and quaffed caffeine
She’d reach for flour, white and stark
Then scooping recklessly, she’d spin
And flinging wildly, find her mark
Coating board and rolling pin
Inspired by dreams of things untried
Her deft hands shaped her visions sweet
She posted all the best with pride
Her chickens got the rest to eat
For those poor souls who follow rules
She held compassionate disdain
And thought of them as boring fools
Who found creative foods arcane
Alas she fell and hit her head
While washing dishes at the sink
She slipped on suds and dropped like lead
(She may have had too much to drink)
Farewell to brandished pin and scowl
Goodbye to scoops and flinging flour
Adieu her apron, mitt, and towel
We’ll meet at heaven’s happy hour
Final result: I finished in 6th place out of 13. (I’ll take it!)
Here are the judges comments (pretty encouraging, all in all)
I always dreaded that day in English class where we had to write rhyming poetry. Mine always sounded like a bawdy limerick. I highly appreciate your ability to do it and do it with wit. However, I don’t feel like I really learned much about you. I finished and felt a bit empty and was hoping to learn more about why you bake, or why you have chickens. You never mentioned family, job, etc.. and I found myself wanting to know something substantial about you, other than the fact that you bake. Clever but left me hoping for more. Hope I get to find out more about you and your writing in the competition.
–Martinis and Minivans
I really like that you did something different by going with a poem (and I really liked your poem!). It’s always a risk to go “out of the box,” but what’s life without a little risk, right? I agree with the other judges about wishing I’d learned more about you…but I did learn little bits. Little bits that make me want to hear more of what you have to say. So, there’s still some mystery to you in this competition…but don’t be afraid to share that with us in future posts.
–The Spaghetti Westerner
Okay, I have to admit… I was VERY hesitant about having a food blogger in the Top 13, but this just proves that you are MUCH more than a food blogger. Many of the comments on your audition revolved around the fact that you didn’t just post recipes, but you put a recipe in a story and that’s why you stood out. This post shows us exactly who you REALLY are… a writer with a passion for food. You didn’t disappoint one bit in my opinion!
–My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream
So, here are my thoughts: I think it’s super cool that you did a poem. Way to go outside the box. I also think you did a great job representing who you are as the Rowdy Baker and what your approach to cooking is. The pics were great — but then, I’m a sucker for anyone who flips me the bird. On the downside, as much as I enjoyed the poem it did limit what you were able to tell us about yourself. I wish you had written more about YOU and who you are beyond the blog. All in all, great, creative job.
–Pile of Babies
Creatively this was great. It was different than the other entries, which made it stand out. For me personally I would have preferred a poem in a eulogy, as opposed to the poem being the eulogy. I think if you had added a couple of paragraphs it would have given us a more in depth look into who you are. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next
–GUEST JUDGE: The Crumb Diaries
I am deeply touched by the memorials by Martha, Paula et al. illustrated in your top photo. Your life obviously has far-reaching consequences, far beyond the high cholesterol and calories you spread abroad.
Yeah, they’re my peeps. (And so are you!)