January Fly on the Wall (my 1 year anniversary edition!)

Fly on the Wall

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I joined Fly and started doing my dirty laundry in public! I love this venue and am always willing to spill my guts, so writing a Fly on the Wall post each month is fun and challenging and…cathartic. If you’ve missed any of them, you can always scroll down my home page and choose Fly on the Wall from the categories on the right. You’ll learn more than you ever wanted to know about me AND my reluctant family.

Hubby has lightened up (or just been slowly broken down) over the year and allows me to post semi-embarrassing photos of him. However, “He Who Shall Not Be Named on Social Media Sites” (or Lord Voldemort) is still holding tough. I tried to sneak a photo of him in there a while back and he is still in a snit over it. Meh.

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In case you’re new to the whole “Fly” phenomenon, a group of bloggers gets together each month and describes what a fly on the wall of their house would hear and see. Things that either aren’t usually discussed in public or that aren’t worth writing an entire blog about. YOU are the fly, and here is what was happening in my house. (The links to the other 13 bloggers’ posts are at the bottom of the page. You don’t think I’d give them to you before you had the chance to read my post, do you? I’m not that nice!)

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Somehow I manage to write posts, comment and opinionate on 5,847 Facebook statuses a day, and edit photos with an archaic laptop that is on its last legs. I broke the hinges so the lid flops willy-nilly. I vacuumed off the “U” key cover. I somehow managed to eliminate my editing option and now have to move each photo to Picmonkey to crop and save. I also managed to blow out 2 of the 3 ports, which is causing me grief. And my mouse turned its little belly up and died. You have been hearing some VERY bad language this month, and I’m truly sorry about offending your little fly ears. (I’m embarrassed to admit how long I spent at this point trying to put ears on a photo of a fly. I give up. Guess you’ll have to just imagine it.)

You heard something like this:

“Oh, crap. This is hard. I can’t do this without my F*@/%*G mouse! How am I supposed to copy this? It won’t let me scroll down! What the @*?/% did it just do? Holy s%*t!”Β  Well, I’m sure you get the general idea.

Oh, such a sick little puppy.

Oh, such a sick little puppy.

And then Lord V (who is getting more impatient as each day progresses) has to come and show me how the youngsters do it, with their finger on that little square part of the computer. He gets really upset when I use two hands. Apparently this is like driving with two feet. Unacceptable. I am supposed to be able to hold down the left clicky thing with my thumb and then move the cursor with the finger on the SAME HAND! He assures me it will come naturally after some practice.

When he’s not looking, I cheat. Don’t squeal on me, okay?

The good thing is, he’s so tired of helping me that he’s promised to bring his “old” laptop back the next time he comes this way and give it to me. It is light-years newer and better than this one, so I’m truly thrilled to be getting my son’s hand-me-downs. Pathetic, huh?

In spite of this handicap, I will bravely carry on.

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I’m sure all the bad language in the beginning of this post has clued you in, but if not…and you think that THIS…

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…is what I’m like, well, hey. That works for me! Someone else thought so too, because I got a SUNSHINE AWARD from friend and fellow blogger Tamara of Confessions of a part-time working mom. She’s delusional, but I love her. Mwah!

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For Christmas Eve our good friends Missy and Joseph braved the ice and snow and came over for dinner. We feasted on crab chowder and french rolls, and they brought all kinds of snacky stuff. The highlight for me was Joseph’s fudge. He substituted Irish Cream for the evaporated milk. He also used chopped unsalted mixed nuts in place of walnuts. May I just say…….burp?

I’m really glad everything turned out well, (though between the eggnog and the wine, I probably wouldn’t have cared too much) because the next day – Christmas Day – I had a major baking fail. It happens. Doesn’t this look like a yummy pumpkin pie? We didn’t have one for Thanksgiving and someone was pouting about it, so I made a nice one with the last of my expensive brandy in it.

Hooray!!! Pumpkin pie for Christmas dinner!

Hooray!!! Pumpkin pie for Christmas dessert!

Sigh. Next time I’ll remember the sugar!

And in case you’re wondering, no amount of whipped cream (or brandy) in the world can salvage a sugarless pumpkin pie. The chickens loved it, though. Merry Christmas, ladies.

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Here’s justice for you: whenever Lord Vodemort is over here, one of his favorite activities is “brushing” the hair off of our yellow lab with his hand (he calls it petting. Hah.) and depositing it on the carpet or furniture, with a promise to clean it up later. I’m sure you can guess that “later” never happens.

So. I combed Otis every chance I got, and used the pile of yellow fur to make Lord V a special pillow for Christmas. It’s really nice – with cougar and deer and bear on it. He doesn’t have a clue what’s inside, and unless he actually reads one of my blog posts, he will never know.

But I will. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.

Making the pillow. (Not enough hair - had to use some poly too.)

Making the pillow. (Not enough hair – had to use some poly too.)

Otis liked it!

Otis liked it!

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I’m almost through with the physical therapy for my ankle. It bends all directions. It’s pretty strong. It’s only painful if I stand for hours at a time. I can even walk down stairs now without going sideways like a crab. Do you know what I can’t do? What I fail miserably at and will probably keep me in therapy for the rest of my life? I can’t balance.

Now…I never could balance well, but since right now I can balance better on my uninjured ankle, it’s obvious that my bad ankle has taken my natural uncoordination to a new level. And not being able to balance well would just lead to more slips and sprains…or worse. So I am practicing.

I love my therapist, I really do. She’s awesome, and funny, and kind. Except when she puts me on a big half-ball. Flat on the bottom, domed on the top. Spongy. Hard to stand on. Since I kept falling off when I tried to stand on it, we graduated to the next step and she THREW BALLS AT ME while I clung precariously on this instrument of torture. You know what else I suck at? Throwing a ball. Ask my son – I can’t even throw a ball from my chair to the couch where he is sitting. So of course I am expected to stand on a ball, throwing a ball.

I just can’t talk about it anymore. Sniff.
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Last Sunday was the big game. The game that is sending the Seattle Seahawks to the Superbowl! My daughter and her family now live in California, but still were loyally rooting for the Hawks…even at a 49ers party they went to. Here is grandson Mack “persuading” a young 49ers fan that the Hawks were the best team! mack at 49rs party

His mom swears he was going in for a kiss, but I see him looking for the jugular.

fly1gifcroppedI usually end with some embarrassing photo or story about my husband, but for the life of me I can’t come up with one this month. I’m truly sorry – I’ll watch him like a hawk next month!

Here are 12 fun blogs to go visit. See what kind of craziness they’ve been up to!

Baking In a Tornado
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
Follow Me Home
Spatulas on Parade
The Momisodes
Stacy Sews and Schools
Searching for Sanity
The Lazy Mom’s Cooking Blog
Pink Heart String
Spinster Snacks

24 thoughts on “January Fly on the Wall (my 1 year anniversary edition!)

    • I think it’s their fault for providing us with such good material! I don’t know about you, but I’ll just keep tossing stuff in there. Eventually he gets used to it. Lord V? Not so much.

  1. Congrats on 1 year, I’m not sure when I started. I’ll have to ask Karen or do a search on my blog for the first entry…
    Girl, when I first got my laptop I regretted it for about a week, then I bought a wireless mouse πŸ™‚ now I’m good! LOL
    Yeah, my dh won’t let me post his name or photos either, shhh there are a few πŸ™‚

    • I’m getting more comfortable with the no-mouse concept. Most of the time. Cordless would be a great compromise! Right now I just hold my breath waiting for the blue screen of death.

  2. I don’t know what’s cuter, the baby-choking pic or the dog-haired pillow. Otis is beautiful! I had to laugh at your computer story; I lost a “Y” button on my old laptop. You’d be surprised how many “Ys” there are in words πŸ™‚ Be safe on that wobbly ankle!

    • Otis always comes across as sort of mean looking in photos. He’s really a very sweet sissy-boy. Love him in spite of his neurotic tendencies. Yeah, at least the “u” button works. It’s the “W” that’s sticking now. Probably more cookie crumbs. I won’t try the vacuum again though πŸ™‚
      And thanks – I’m still being very, very careful. Do NOT want to go through this again. Maybe a walker for my birthday?

  3. Hubbinator is also Web Shy. How in the world I ended up with such an introvert, I don’t know. He tricked me, I think! I LOVE the pillow and it cracked me up that Otis likes it … he knows! πŸ˜‰ And, unless he starts talking like that dog in the baked beans commercial, I think your secret’s safe!

    I love your Fly on the Wall posts. I smile through the whole post πŸ˜€

    • Those guys do change on us! My hubby was the quiet, stoic type. Since we’ve retired and he’s around here 24 hours a day, it seems that he’s more of a Chatty Cathy. Luckily he has a lot of pals in the neighborhood to talk with too. Whew.
      Thanks, Jen! I still think you should be doing Fly too.

  4. Loved your post. My computer problem is moving from tablet to laptop and sitting there with my finger on the screen wondering why the cursor won’t move!

    • Thanks, Susan! I’m so behind the times, I’m not even sure what a tablet is…but I think I’d do much better touching the screen than the stupid pad on the laptop. These things really have taken over our lives, haven’t they?

  5. I would go nutso if I had to go through what you’re going through with your computer… I freak out enough when the internet goes down! My husband used to cringe about the things I blogged about our family, but after 2 years he has gotten used to it…. and as you know, he is often the main subject of my blog posts—pictures included! LOL!

    • Yeah, I admit to having to do some serious Lamaze breathing when I get too frustrated πŸ™‚
      I try to put myself in my husband’s position, and never post photos (especially ones that aren’t very flattering) without his permission. But I figure anything he says becomes public property.

    • I have to admit I felt a little bad when he came home sick and opened his present and immediately took it and went to sleep in his room. He was so congested…but I didn’t feel badly enough to confess πŸ˜‰ Evil mom.

    • Thanks, Meg! Evil genius, perhaps.
      The fudge was killer. I like fudge but it’s not my favorite Christmas candy. At least, it wasn’t – but it’s definitely in the top three now!

  6. That dog pillow looked like some wicked revenge. I’ll have to remember that for the next person who bugs me. Our cat is shedding like crazy at the moment and this way all his hair won’t end up in my nose for a change.

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