Fly on the Wall, Yo Ho Yo Ho edition

Posted on February 21, 2014 by Lorinda

Every month you’re invited to Fly on the Wall Friday, where a group of bloggers show you what’s been happening in their homes. You’ll see and hear things that will make you smile, gasp, and shake your head. Little moments we share (wisely or not) with flies who are brave enough to hang out on our walls.

I’ve had an eventful month. Not necessarily in a good way, though it started OUT okay. Bear with me – this could get a little lengthy.

My birthday was the end of January, and was an absolute riot. The crazy group of gals I hooked up with (um…not sure that’s a good phrase) to share a group post of recipes each month on our blogs decided to bomb my Rowdy Baker Facebook page with hysterical posts. It kept me busy all day just keeping up with all of them. You should go there and scroll down. Seriously funny stuff. Lots of love from everyone. I think my favorite was a photo of a cake my daughter found…with Tom Selleck on it. It just doesn’t get better than that!!! That man makes my toes curl.

The girls call me “Eema”, so that’s close enough!

And then, a couple of days later, THE SEAHAWKS WON THE SUPERBOWL! I’m not a huge sports fan, but since I lived in the Seattle area for 50 years, there was no way to avoid getting sucked up in the excitement. Woo HOO! Here’s a shortbread cookie I made. Did you notice I said “a”? After a ridiculous amount of effort, I got one to almost come out right. I quit while I was ahead.

Here’s where things start to get a little dicey. My grandson Mack was having his first birthday, and I really, really wanted to be there. The last time I saw him he was a newborn. Keep this in mind when you’re questioning my sanity later, okay? A grandma’s urge to see her littles is very, very strong. To sweeten the pot, my daughter told me they were going the surprise the girls with a trip to Disneyland a few days later, and if I could get down there (Northern California) and back, they’d love to have me go with them.

Normally I wouldn’t even consider driving in February – in fact, we’re usually snowed in. But…it was a mild winter and the passes to California looked pretty good. I could have (SHOULD HAVE) flown, but if I drove there was the added incentive of saving a few bucks and being able to drive to my son’s for a visit too. The Man has a tendency to look on the dark side of things, and I’m a raving optimist, so as usual, I blew off all his cautions and concerns. If it snowed up north I’d just stay longer in California. Off I went, car spit-shined, oil checked, and dashboard sporting the GPS he bought me for my birthday.

I had my last physical therapy appointment that morning, and my PT and I did a last check of the weather. It showed the possibility of a little light snow, but pretty much clear sailing. Ha… HA HA HA!

I’d almost reached Oregon when it was obvious I was in trouble. Snow was blowing so hard around the cars and big trucks that I was getting disoriented. I had to cross my fingers and aim between two posts for an exit the GPS told me to take, because I couldn’t see where it was exactly. Gonna tell you right now, it was a white knuckle ride and there was no place to get off the highway.

I have a new pet peeve. Semi trucks should not be allowed to be white. Nope. I was behind a “ghost” truck – totally white, with its tail lights obliterated by packed snow. I would try to trail far behind it, but the next thing I knew it was right there. Scary stuff.

My plan was to get to Madras, Oregon for the night and continue in the morning, and I made it. Barely. I was a shaky mess when I checked in. Continuing in the morning was a no-go. The Oregon trip cameras were daunting, and I could stand in my motel window and watch cars in trouble on the street. I booked another night.

From my window, second night.

Now in case anyone was worried that I was starving, I’ll admit this: the first night I ate Triscuits and licorice that I had with me in the car. The next morning I gathered my courage and drove to the nearby grocery store, where I bought more nutritious foods. A salad, sliced ham, bread, peanut butter, jam, milk, cereal, hot dogs, chocolate covered raisins, Oreos. You know…just in case I was stuck there for a month. I had a microwave and a fridge in my room, internet, and a comfy bed. Not the worst situation. Yet.

Morning of day three. Yikes.

This was more snow that this little town has seen – if not a record, it had to be close – so the snow plows were being run ragged. But even though the motel parking lot wasn’t plowed yet, there appeared to be a window of opportunity. After The Man checked the weather from home and I checked it from there, we decided that if I could just get onto the highway I should be able to get through the worst of it quickly. The snow was DEEP and even when I locked the car in 4WD, it wasn’t very cooperative.

That should have been my cue to book another night, right? Oh, Lord, I’m stubborn.

I finally got to the T where I could turn out of the motel lot. Right was uphill (the way I’d taken to the store) and my car was balking. Left was downhill…a more realistic option, except I couldn’t see exactly where the road went. I was directed to stay to the left of some posts and I’d get out to the road. Everything was white, and…well…I was looking at a completely different post. Let’s just say that I created a road where no road had ever been, and found myself down a slope in a wall of snow. End of my escape.

Wait. It gets better!

Soaking wet after climbing out of my hole and slogging the long way back to the office to call for road assistance, I was put on hold forever. Bless the gal behind the desk! She let me use their phone and drip on their rug. I finally hung up when I started shaking too bad to hold the phone. I had no choice but to go back to the car and bring up dry clothes and something to eat, because obviously I was there for another night. I got my room key back, and this is where things got bad.

My gloves were in the car. My snow boots with cleats were in the car. By the time I got down there and started digging through the suitcase for clothes, I think hypothermia was setting in, because I could not figure out what to grab. I got my computer because that was my only link to home. I got a change of clothes and a can of soup and for some reason the entire package of disposable bowls, and put them in a paper bag. Brilliant, huh? Snowing like crazy and I’m going to drag a paper bag all that way. I did not grab my gloves or my boots. My hands were freezing solid (it was 3 degrees out) and I just closed the door and headed back. Only I was panting and falling down and, just like in the pioneering books that I love, I wanted to stay down and rest, but I knew I couldn’t let that happen. Dropped the can of soup in the snow, and I know I dug it out, but I never saw it again. It probably fell out of the soggy paper bag! Half way back I knew I was in big trouble, having to rest every few steps. I knew I should let go of some of my stuff, but it was snowing so hard, it would be covered in minutes.

When I finally got back up to the motel parking area, my angel behind the desk (Tanya) saw me and helped me to my room. She had to pry my hands off the computer case and dig around in my pockets for the room key. Blue nail beds, palms, shins. A long hot shower and dry clothes helped, but if you’re wondering, it hurts like HELL when the blood moves back into frozen hands. And then I had to do it again, to show the tow truck guys where the car was. Their response? “Oh, my GOD!” and “NO WAY!” They said they wouldn’t even attempt to tow it until the snow melted some. Great.

I spent the next 14 hours in bed, getting warm, feeling very sorry for myself, and adding up the costs of this trip so far. I also a big bowl of homemade chili with the works that my new front desk best friend had her husband bring over for me. It’s a good thing, since that can of soup was under the snow somewhere. Now THAT is service. Shameless plug here: if you’re ever in Madras, I highly recommend the Econolodge. Not only do they treat you like family, there’s also a really good free breakfast with fresh waffles, sausage, and scrambled eggs. I can assure you I took complete advantage of that.

Okay, so I called the other towing company in town and coughed up an insane amount of money for a tow because even though the slope I went down wasn’t that steep (people walk up it to get into the parking lot) they played musical tow trucks for a while, and finally had to park the big truck waaaaaay back to be on an actual road. Lots of heavy cable used. The Man took exception to this, and apparently called to let them know of his displeasure. (It may have been insult to injury that I used his credit card number for this. Ahem.) They said it took 2 hours. Pffft. Not even close. But honestly? They were all tired and crabby from the unimaginable amount of tows they’d been providing, and I was lucky they did it, especially on a Sunday.

I made my escape on Monday and finally made it to my daughter’s that evening with little drama. Shaken, my confidence beaten to a bloody pulp, but so very grateful to have made it in one piece. And oh, so happy to see them all!

Greetings from my “other” granddaughter.

A day of rest, and we were off to the happiest place on earth! A baby who was developing a double ear infection made the 11 hour drive a little less than festive, but strangely enough he always calms down to Christmas music, particularly “Big Fat Santa”. Bless you, Peggy Lee.

What can I say about Disneyland? Sore feet, smiles, and souvenirs! I hadn’t been to Disneyland since our kids were little, so it all seemed new to me. I loved watching all the impromptu dancing my youngest granddaughter managed to do with some of the park characters. My oldest granddaughter was more interested in making sure Grandma didn’t get lost!

So. We had a suite with connecting rooms, my granddaughters and I in one, and Mom, Dad, and baby in the other. I’m starting to change clothes quickly to go back out when I see the youngest girl sitting on the bed with her shirt over her head. I ask her why, and she replies: “I DON’T want to see you naked!” Oh my. I guess there are some things that just can’t be unseen. Naked Grandma is probably pretty high on that list. I may have scarred her for life. Sorry, sweetie.

Which reminds me, did you know that it is actually possible to gain 5 pounds in 4 days when you are sitting on your butt on a motel bed eating junk food? Just sayin’.

Footsore and happy!

We were on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (my personal favorite) in the last area where the drunken pirates are trying to shoot the big barrels of black powder. Singing “YO HO YO HO, A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME.” Do you know why I put that in all caps? Because it’s freaking loud!!! It was even louder 15 minutes later when we were still sitting there because the ride broke. Every few minutes the voice would come on saying “we’ll be just a few minutes, thank you for your patience.” Crying baby, yelling pirates, and the same chunk of song over and over and over and over. The only good thing was that I was behind the poor people who had the big barrels hanging right over their heads. That would make me pee myself for sure. The ride jerked and started,(to loud cheers) then stopped again with (you guessed it) me under the barrels. It was a tense “few minutes” for me before they finally got us out of there.

I’ve got to admit, though – all you have to do now is start singing that song and we all crack up. It’s funny now.

Here’s an entertaining video (honest!) my daughter and youngest granddaughter made, hitting the highlights of a trip to Disneyland as clearly as possible. I laugh every time I see it!

The ride home was a little tougher. Sad to leave and come back to reality land, and they were dragging home a sick Grandma. Figures. Nothing is going easily for me on this trip! My daughter has been plying me with creature comforts and has valiantly shopped three times for boxes of lotion enhanced Kleenex. Sore nose much?

Pneumonia? Bronchitis? One of the two – both were listed on the paperwork from the walk-in clinic. Sigh. I can tell you right now, the antibiotics and the inhaler both seem like a good idea. The codeine stuff that only helps me sleep long enough to wake up disoriented and in a panic? Not so helpful.

And I sure hope the steroids don’t make me go home with a beard and deep voice, because this has turned into one expensive, stressful trip, and though I’m sure The Man will be relieved to see me, I’m certain to be in line for some “I told you so’s.” It’s pretty hard to pull off the “poor little me” bit when you’re singing bass.

And I still have the drive home to face.

Speaking of The Man, we send out Valentines every year instead of Christmas cards. Here’s the photo that was on the front of this year’s card. It shows him pouting because he’s left alone feeding the chickens, dog, and cats. I’ll bet after all the excitement I’ve had on the trip this far he’s starting to feel pretty lucky after all!

If I haven’t made you want to beat your little head against the wall while you’re hanging there, please go buzz around these other blogs for a while, and see what THEY do and say when they think no one is there!

Baking In a Tornado
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
Follow Me Home
Spatulas on Parade
Stacy Sews and Schools
Searching for Sanity
The Lazy Mom’s Cooking Blog
Dates 2 Diapers 2
Spinster Snacks

Chocolate Covered Cherry Pie

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Lorinda

For the month of February, nine bloggers got together for a group post called “Love and Food”. That pretty much says it all! I guess it’s true that I tend to show my love by nurturing – especially through cooking and baking.

My husband loves cherry pie. I don’t! (I picked cherries one summer long, long ago and have never felt the same about them since) At least, I didn’t like cherry pie.

But I found that an unbaked cherry pie is pretty darn good, especially when the cherries are enrobed in chocolate! The cherry filling sits in a rich chocolate pie crust and is covered with a layer of chocolate cream, then is topped with cherry liqueur-spiked whipping cream. Now that, I love! And I really love it frozen, too. I guess you can say I’m a convert.

The chocolate crust isn’t sweet like a cookie crumb crust. It’s basically a regular crust with a deep cocoa flavor. The cherry filling is canned. Yes, you heard me! I didn’t grow, pick, pit, and can these cherries, I went to the grocery store and bought two cans of cherry pie filling. Surprised you, didn’t I? You’ll need a deep-dish pie pan to hold all of this goodness. If you don’t have one, just use one can of pie filling, otherwise there won’t be enough room for the chocolate, and we can’t have that!

The chocolate topping is one-half of my filling recipe for Sumptuous Chocolate Cream Pie.

I bought a bottle of “Cherry Pie” liqueur this year and feel honor-bound to use up as much of it as possible (it’s been showing up in lots of recipes), so I flavored the whipping cream with some. It’s slightly tart, so it adds a wonderful touch to the cream. You can use a little cherry flavoring and food coloring or some maraschino cherry juice if you’d prefer.

I wanted the whipping cream to last for a day or two (there are only two of us eating this) so I stabilized it. If you’re serving this to a group of diners, you won’t need to bother; it’ll get demolished right away.

If you’re thinking this recipe looks hideously long, that’s because it really should be separated into three recipes…one for the crust, one for the chocolate layer, and one for the whipping cream. But the recipe widget will only let me create one recipe per post, and I want you to be able to print it out easily. It’s really not as complicated as it looks!

Here’s how the whole thing gets created:

Chocolate Covered Cherry Pie

Author: The Rowdy Baker

A cherry pie, enrobed with chocolate! Chocolate crust, a chocolate cream top layer, and flavored whipping cream.

Ingredients

2 cups flour
¼ cup unsweetened cocoa
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar
1 cup shortening, chilled
⅓ cup buttermilk
2 cans (21 oz each) cherry pie filling
¾ cups sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
½ teaspoon salt
1½ cups bilk
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped coarsely
2 egg yolks
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons butter
½ teaspoon unflavored gelatin (if you are stabilizing your whipped cream)
2 teaspoons water
1 cup heavy whipping cream
¼ cup powdered sugar
¼ cup cherry liqueur (or substitution...see below**)

Instructions

Heat oven to 375 F.
You will need a deep-dish pie pan. If using a regular pie pan, reduce the cherry filling to one can.
In a large bowl, combine flour, cocoa, salt, and sugar. Work shortening into dry mixture with pastry blender or two knives, until the size of small peas.
Add the buttermilk slowly, stirring lightly with a fork. If the dough isn't coming together into a rough ball shape, add cold water 1 teaspoon at a time. You just want it to stick together and not be crumbly.
Roll out approximately ⅔ of the dough between sheets of lightly floured parchment paper. This should be a little thicker than a normal pie crust.
Remove the top layer of parchment and cut a circle larger than your pie pan, with an extra 1" all the way around.
Slide a flat baking pan under parchment beneath the circle of dough. Place your pan upside down on the dough, centering it, and flip the pan, dough, and baking sheet over. Remove the baking sheet and carefully peel off the parchment.
Ease the dough into the pan and fold the excess dough under. Flute the edge and poke a fork evenly all over the pie crust. To help keep the dough from collapsing, place in freezer for 10 minutes.
Carefully line the crust with foil and fill at least one third full with beans or pie weights. Bake for 15 minutes. Remove from oven, carefully take out the foil and beans, and return to the oven to bake for an additional 10 minutes.
Allow the crust to cool completely.
Fill the baked shell with 2 cans of cherry pie filling. (One can for a standard pan.)
Place the pie in the refrigerator while you make the chocolate layer:
In a small bowl, beat the egg yolks lightly.
In a medium pot combine sugar, cornstarch, salt, milk, and unsweetened chocolate. Turn burner to medium-high and stir until it reaches a low boil. Turn the temperature down to medium and continue to cook and stir with a whisk for 2 minutes.
Pour about ¼ cup of the hot mixture into the eggs, stirring well, and then add the egg mixture to the pan, whisking well. Cook for an additional 2 minutes, whisking continuously.
Remove from heat and whisk in vanilla and butter.
Allow it to cool slightly, then pour over the cherry mixture in the pie.
Chill the pie until you are ready to add the whipping cream. For best results, let the pie chill for 5 or 6 hours.
To make stabilized whipping cream, sprinkle unflavored gelatin over water in a small dish. Let it sit for 5-10 minutes. (If you aren't using stabilized cream, just skip the gelatin and water step.)
In a medium bowl, whip the cream until soft peaks form. Slowly whip in the powdered sugar. Place the dish of softened gelatin in the microwave for 5-7 seconds, just until it starts to foam. While whipping, slowly drizzle the melted gelatin over the whipped cream. Whip until firm peaks form, and then add the liqueur.
**If you don't wish to use liqueur, maraschino cherry juice will work well. Or you can add 1 teaspoon of cherry flavoring and a drop of red or pink food coloring, if desired.
Spread or pipe the whipped cream over the pie and serve!

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And, because I know that many of you have limited free time, I like to give you shortcuts. You could:

Use a pre-made chocolate cookie crust.
Use instant chocolate pudding for the chocolate layer
Spray on your whipping cream from a can.

The idea will be the same, though you will sacrifice a little of the flavor and texture.

making the pie crust

Cut at least 1 inch larger all the way around pan.

Flute edges, poke holes evenly around crust.

Add foil and beans (or pie weights) and bake.

Add cherry pie filling.

Adding butter and vanilla, then ready to spread on cherries.

spread hot chocolate mixture on cherries.

You’ve got to try a slice of this!

To see what the other passion-inspired bloggers have made, just click on the following links. Please show them some love back, and leave a comment. We all just live for comments.Well…nice ones.

Limoncello Cream Dream Cake by Crumbs in my Mustachio

Nutella Frangelico Love Cheesecake by Tampa Cake Girl

Cherry Blossom Chocolates by Hun, What’s for Dinner?

Cookie Cutter Chocolate Bark by Lemony Thyme

Chocolate Pound Cake with a Chocolate Glaze by Moore or Less Cooking Blog

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Fudge by Baking in a Tornado

Sex and Candy Cake by Cooking from a SAHM

Strawberry Cream Cheese Dessert

Posted on February 1, 2014 by Lorinda

It’s February, and every breathing moment (including those times in the middle of the night when I have a stroke of genius that I can never remember the next day) is spent thinking about Valentine’s Day goodies. I spend a lot of time mentally creating and baking…thinking up new twists and embellishments. My grandfather was a professor of engineering and a woodworking genius who was a huge believer in the “measure twice, cut once” practice. I’ve learned that actually imagining myself making a new creation, step by step, helps me avoid a lot of mistakes. Not all…but a lot.

One of these ideas has actually come to fruition! And boy, do I have an easy dessert for you!

Seriously easy, not just easy compared to my usual fussing and experimenting and generally doing everything the hardest way possible. This is a “dump cake”, but it’s actually more like a pie, with a layer of cream cheese, a layer of strawberry, and a crunchy-buttery topping. I will give you the recipe for the topping, but if you want to use a boxed white cake mix, go for it. Personally, I like avoiding the preservatives, and it’s so easy to make the mix that I don’t mess with boxed mixes at all.

Eat this warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Sheer bliss!

Strawberry Cream Cheese Dessert

Author: The Rowdy Baker

This is a "dump cake", but it's really more like a pie with 3 layers: Cream cheese, strawberry, and crunchy topping. Serves 9.

Ingredients

8 ounces of cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon flour
1 can (21 oz.) strawberry pie filling
1 white cake mix (or see easy instructions below the recipe)
¾ cup butter, melted
1 cup chopped walnuts

Instructions

Heat oven to 350 F.
Prepare a 9-inch pan or casserole dish. (or a 10-inch heart-shaped pan) by greasing and flouring it or using an oil/flour spray like Baker's Joy.
In a medium bowl, combine cream cheese, powdered sugar, egg, vanilla, and flour and mix at medium speed until well combined and creamy. Spread into prepared pan.
Spread the strawberry pie filling over the cream cheese mixture. It's easiest if you evenly distribute dollops of pie filling and then spread with a rubber spatula.
Cover the strawberry layer with all of the dry cake mix.
Drizzle melted butter over the cake mix and sprinkle with walnuts.
Bake for approximately 50 minutes. The top should be golden brown. It will continue to darken a little while it is cooling.
Cool on a rack and serve warm with a little vanilla ice cream.

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To make the cake topping instead of using a boxed cake mix, simply sift together the following ingredients:
1 1/2 cups cake flour
1/4 cup powdered milk
3/4 cup sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

Spread the cream cheese mixture

Add the strawberry pie filling.

Cover with cake mix and drizzle with butter.

Cover with dry cake mix and drizzle with butter. Add walnuts.

Don’t let the photo deceive you; by the time you drizzle on all the butter, it will resemble a lake of butter with a few tiny white islands poking through. Don’t worry…the butter will soak in and turn that cake mix into a delectable, crunchy topping.

Right out of the oven

It will darken and sink in a bit…that’s OK!

Have a bite…or two!

This recipe is very similar to one I posted this fall, which became one of my most viewed posts. It’s funny – I’ll spend days working on what I consider a great recipe, and yet a simple dessert gets all the action on Pinterest! If you like this recipe, you’ll want to check out my Pumpkin Cream Cheese Dessert too.

Now…chocolate! I need chocolate! Let’s see what I can dream up this time.

January Fly on the Wall (my 1 year anniversary edition!)

Posted on January 24, 2014 by Lorinda

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I joined Fly and started doing my dirty laundry in public! I love this venue and am always willing to spill my guts, so writing a Fly on the Wall post each month is fun and challenging and…cathartic. If you’ve missed any of them, you can always scroll down my home page and choose Fly on the Wall from the categories on the right. You’ll learn more than you ever wanted to know about me AND my reluctant family.

Hubby has lightened up (or just been slowly broken down) over the year and allows me to post semi-embarrassing photos of him. However, “He Who Shall Not Be Named on Social Media Sites” (or Lord Voldemort) is still holding tough. I tried to sneak a photo of him in there a while back and he is still in a snit over it. Meh.

In case you’re new to the whole “Fly” phenomenon, a group of bloggers gets together each month and describes what a fly on the wall of their house would hear and see. Things that either aren’t usually discussed in public or that aren’t worth writing an entire blog about. YOU are the fly, and here is what was happening in my house. (The links to the other 13 bloggers’ posts are at the bottom of the page. You don’t think I’d give them to you before you had the chance to read my post, do you? I’m not that nice!)

Somehow I manage to write posts, comment and opinionate on 5,847 Facebook statuses a day, and edit photos with an archaic laptop that is on its last legs. I broke the hinges so the lid flops willy-nilly. I vacuumed off the “U” key cover. I somehow managed to eliminate my editing option and now have to move each photo to Picmonkey to crop and save. I also managed to blow out 2 of the 3 ports, which is causing me grief. And my mouse turned its little belly up and died. You have been hearing some VERY bad language this month, and I’m truly sorry about offending your little fly ears. (I’m embarrassed to admit how long I spent at this point trying to put ears on a photo of a fly. I give up. Guess you’ll have to just imagine it.)

You heard something like this:

“Oh, crap. This is hard. I can’t do this without my F*@/%*G mouse! How am I supposed to copy this? It won’t let me scroll down! What the @*?/% did it just do? Holy s%*t!” Well, I’m sure you get the general idea.

Oh, such a sick little puppy.

And then Lord V (who is getting more impatient as each day progresses) has to come and show me how the youngsters do it, with their finger on that little square part of the computer. He gets really upset when I use two hands. Apparently this is like driving with two feet. Unacceptable. I am supposed to be able to hold down the left clicky thing with my thumb and then move the cursor with the finger on the SAME HAND! He assures me it will come naturally after some practice.

When he’s not looking, I cheat. Don’t squeal on me, okay?

The good thing is, he’s so tired of helping me that he’s promised to bring his “old” laptop back the next time he comes this way and give it to me. It is light-years newer and better than this one, so I’m truly thrilled to be getting my son’s hand-me-downs. Pathetic, huh?

In spite of this handicap, I will bravely carry on.

I’m sure all the bad language in the beginning of this post has clued you in, but if not…and you think that THIS…

…is what I’m like, well, hey. That works for me! Someone else thought so too, because I got a SUNSHINE AWARD from friend and fellow blogger Tamara of Confessions of a part-time working mom. She’s delusional, but I love her. Mwah!

For Christmas Eve our good friends Missy and Joseph braved the ice and snow and came over for dinner. We feasted on crab chowder and french rolls, and they brought all kinds of snacky stuff. The highlight for me was Joseph’s fudge. He substituted Irish Cream for the evaporated milk. He also used chopped unsalted mixed nuts in place of walnuts. May I just say…….burp?

I’m really glad everything turned out well, (though between the eggnog and the wine, I probably wouldn’t have cared too much) because the next day – Christmas Day – I had a major baking fail. It happens. Doesn’t this look like a yummy pumpkin pie? We didn’t have one for Thanksgiving and someone was pouting about it, so I made a nice one with the last of my expensive brandy in it.

Hooray!!! Pumpkin pie for Christmas dinner!

Hooray!!! Pumpkin pie for Christmas dessert!

Sigh. Next time I’ll remember the sugar!

And in case you’re wondering, no amount of whipped cream (or brandy) in the world can salvage a sugarless pumpkin pie. The chickens loved it, though. Merry Christmas, ladies.

Here’s justice for you: whenever Lord Vodemort is over here, one of his favorite activities is “brushing” the hair off of our yellow lab with his hand (he calls it petting. Hah.) and depositing it on the carpet or furniture, with a promise to clean it up later. I’m sure you can guess that “later” never happens.

So. I combed Otis every chance I got, and used the pile of yellow fur to make Lord V a special pillow for Christmas. It’s really nice – with cougar and deer and bear on it. He doesn’t have a clue what’s inside, and unless he actually reads one of my blog posts, he will never know.

But I will. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.

Making the pillow. (Not enough hair – had to use some poly too.)

Otis liked it!

I’m almost through with the physical therapy for my ankle. It bends all directions. It’s pretty strong. It’s only painful if I stand for hours at a time. I can even walk down stairs now without going sideways like a crab. Do you know what I can’t do? What I fail miserably at and will probably keep me in therapy for the rest of my life? I can’t balance.

Now…I never could balance well, but since right now I can balance better on my uninjured ankle, it’s obvious that my bad ankle has taken my natural uncoordination to a new level. And not being able to balance well would just lead to more slips and sprains…or worse. So I am practicing.

I love my therapist, I really do. She’s awesome, and funny, and kind. Except when she puts me on a big half-ball. Flat on the bottom, domed on the top. Spongy. Hard to stand on. Since I kept falling off when I tried to stand on it, we graduated to the next step and she THREW BALLS AT ME while I clung precariously on this instrument of torture. You know what else I suck at? Throwing a ball. Ask my son – I can’t even throw a ball from my chair to the couch where he is sitting. So of course I am expected to stand on a ball, throwing a ball.

I just can’t talk about it anymore. Sniff.

Last Sunday was the big game. The game that is sending the Seattle Seahawks to the Superbowl! My daughter and her family now live in California, but still were loyally rooting for the Hawks…even at a 49ers party they went to. Here is grandson Mack “persuading” a young 49ers fan that the Hawks were the best team!

His mom swears he was going in for a kiss, but I see him looking for the jugular.

I usually end with some embarrassing photo or story about my husband, but for the life of me I can’t come up with one this month. I’m truly sorry – I’ll watch him like a hawk next month!

Here are 12 fun blogs to go visit. See what kind of craziness they’ve been up to!

Baking In a Tornado
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
Follow Me Home
Spatulas on Parade
The Momisodes
Stacy Sews and Schools
Searching for Sanity
The Lazy Mom’s Cooking Blog
Pink Heart String
Spinster Snacks

Succulent Salmon Dip (in a crunchy football bowl!)

Posted on January 22, 2014 by Lorinda

If you followed along as a group of us bloggers teamed up to bring you the 12 Cakes of Christmas, you already know that we are a crazy bunch of gals who inspire each other to greatness. Well…we try!

Once the holidays were over we realized that we just didn’t want to leave the party, so we decided to pick a theme every month and create recipes to match the theme. This month is Dippin’ Through January!

Football games just demand dips, and we have you covered.

Today is my day, and since I was born and raised in Seattle, AND since the Seahawks are going to the Superbowl (squeeee) I went all out and made a delicious salmon dip and a big french bread football bowl to serve it in. Fill it up and put the top back on until you’re ready to serve…then tear it up and use the chunks of bread to scoop up the dip. Here’s my easy recipe for a Football Dip Bowl. And, of course, the recipe for salmon dip!

Succulent Salmon Dip

Author: The Rowdy Baker

This is enough to make at least 8 hungry people very happy.

Ingredients

1½ pounds cooked salmon (canned is fine!)
8 ounces neufchatel or cream cheese
1 cup mayonnaise
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon liquid smoke (optional)
3 cloves garlic, pressed or minced very fine
4 slices thick bacon, chopped and cooked
1-2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
6 green onions, sliced thinly
Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

In a large bowl, combine salmon, neufchatel cheese, mayonnaise, Worcestershire sauce, liquid smoke, and garlic. Mix well using a sturdy wooden spoon or (if you don't mind the mess) your hands. Don't use a food processor - it will ruin the texture and turn the dip into baby food!
Stir in the bacon, lemon juice, green onions, and seasoning. Spoon into dip bowl.
Keep refrigerated until ready to serve.

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Also consider trying finely chopped celery, sliced olives, or grated Italian cheese!

So lucky to have friends that fish AND can!

Smoosh it up! (That’s a technical cooking term.)

Gotta have fresh lemon with salmon.

Remove the soft bread.

Remove the soft bread from the “lid” too.

Oh, YUM!

With all due respect to those of you who live in Colorado, may I just say…..GO HAWKS!

Here are links to the other dips that have already been posted.

1/13 Jalapeno Popper Dip from Moore or Less Cooking Blog
1/14 Melting Pot Swiss Cheese Fondue from Tampa Cake Girl
1/15 Rocky Road Brownie Batter Dip from Hun, What’s for Dinner?
1/16 Prosciutto Artichoke Spinach Dip from Crumbs in my Mustachio
1/17 Crab Rangoon Dip with Wonton Chips from Lemony Thyme
1/20 BLT Dip from Cooking from a SAHM
1/21 Apple French Toast Brunch Dip from Baking in a Tornado
1/22 My Succulent Salmon Dip
1/23 Yum Yum Dipping Sauce from Manila Spoon

Football Dip Bowl

Posted on January 21, 2014 by Lorinda

Here is the perfect bowl for serving dip at the Superbowl. Why? Because it’s festive, delicious, and you don’t have to wash it after the crowd leaves.

French bread is the easiest bread there is to make. It takes a little more time because it requires two risings before it’s shaped, but it is the closest thing to a “no-fail” bread I’ve ever tried. I usually put a pan of hot water in the oven to get it all steamy, which makes the crust more crispy, but this time I left that step out so it would be easier to slice the top off to make the bowl. It still came out crackly and crisp, but cut easily.

This recipe will make two large loaves. Even if you only need one dip bowl, go ahead and make them both footballs. That way you can pick the prettiest one for display, and a football is a pretty traditional French bread shape anyhow.

Once the bread has cooled, slice off the top and scoop out the insides. You may be able to turn the excess bread into croutons or bread crumbs, or just nibble as you work! Fill the bowl with your favorite dip and put the top back on until it’s time to serve. Then break up the top and use it for dipping.

Football Dip Bowl

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Makes 2 large dip bowls.

Ingredients

2½ cups very warm water
2 packages active dry yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
6 cups all-purpose flour (or bread flour)
1 tablespoon Kosher salt

Instructions

In a large bowl (a stand mixer is best) combine the water, yeast, and sugar. Allow it to it until bubbly - about 5 minutes.
Add 3 cups of flour and the salt and beat well.
Remove ¼ cup of dough and put it in a plastic zipper bag. Don't zip the top, just set it in the refrigerator for now.
Switch to a dough hook and add the remaining flour. Knead with the machine for 5 minutes, or if you're kneading by hand, put dough on a floured surface and knead for 7-8 minutes. Dough should be slightly sticky and very elastic.
Place dough in a large greased bowl, turning the dough to coat evenly. Cover and allow it to rise until doubled, about 1 hour.
Punch down dough, cover, and allow it to rise again until doubled, about 1 hour.
Punch down dough and divide it into 2 pieces. Shape one piece into a slightly skinny football. Repeat with the other piece of dough. Put both loaves on an ungreased baking sheet (you may sprinkle with cornmeal first if you wish) then cover and let rise until almost doubled.
When the dough is partly risen, heat the oven to 450 F. Give it plenty of time to get hot.
When the loaves have risen, remove the bag of soft dough from the refrigerator. Snip one of the corners off and squeeze side stripes, a center seam, and lacing on each loaf.
Bake for about 35 minutes, or until the loaves are a rich brown.
Cool thoroughly on a rack.

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Yeast is bubbly…Add the flour!

The dough – smooth and elastic!

First rise

Shaping the dough

Shape like a skinny football. It will puff out!

Squeeze on the designs and it’s ready for the oven!

Extra Spicy Gingersnaps

Posted on January 10, 2014 by Lorinda

When the weather turns cold and wintry, my first instinct is to start adding spices to everything. We just had a homemade chicken soup full of garlic, ginger, and homemade noodles (if you’re sick, this will cure whatever ails you) but since this is a baking blog, I had to look for something else to offer you. Something that would light a mild fire in your belly and make you sigh with happiness.

Something like EXTRA SPICY GINGERSNAPS!

If you know me or have been following my blogs, you’ll know that I rarely do things the easy way. It’s all about experimenting and finding new challenges. So just because I went all out and toasted and ground whole spices, that doesn’t mean you have to. These cookies will be very, very good if you use ground spices from your cupboard. If you want them to be excellent, however, here’s what you’ll want to do:

Toast those spices!

Put one whole nutmeg, 12 whole cloves, and 2 or 3 sticks of cinnamon (broken in half) in a small pan. Turn the burner on medium-low and cook for 4-5 minutes, shaking or stirring them often. When the fragrance hits you upside the head, they’re done!

Set the nutmeg aside to cool and put the cloves and cinnamon into a clean coffee grinder. It’s going to sound awful when you turn it on, but do it anyway! Grind those babies up as fine as possible. I sift mine through a small sieve to keep big chunks out of the cookie dough, and then put the remaining bits back in the grinder for a few more seconds.

Sift out the stubborn chunks.

Grate the toasted nutmeg with a fine grater. I used 1 teaspoon of freshly ground nutmeg in this recipe. You can wrap the rest of the whole nutmeg up in plastic wrap and save it for another day if you wish.

Grating nutmeg.

You will be seriously amazed by the added flavor freshly toasted spices add to baked goods.

However, since I’m pretty sure most of you are rolling your eyes back in your head right this very moment, I used regular spices in the recipe below. If you are making these cookies using freshly toasted spices (FIST BUMP!) use the entire amount you just ground up.

Extra Spicy Gingersnaps

Author: The Rowdy Baker

These gingersnaps will warm you to your toes, and make you come back for more! Makes approximately 4 dozen cookies.

Ingredients

1 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
1 egg
½ cup molasses
2-3 teaspoons finely grated fresh ginger root
3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon white pepper
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground ginger

Instructions

Heat oven to 375 F.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and both sugars together until well combined and fluffy.
Add the egg, molasses, and grated fresh ginger. Mix well.
Add the remaining ingredients and mix until thoroughly combined.
Roll level tablespoons of dough into balls and then roll each ball in a shallow dish of sugar to coat completely.
Place at least an inch apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. (Parchment is helpful, but not necessary.) Press down with a spatula or the bottom of a glass to flatten.
Bake for 10 minutes if you want the cookies to be a little chewy. Bake for 11 minutes if you like them crispy.
Remove from oven and place the baking sheet on a rack to cool for several minutes, then move the cookies to the rack to finish cooling.

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Roll in sugar

Flatten the dough.

fresh from the oven

At this point, you can just put the cookies on a plate and watch them disappear. OR you can decorate them a little with icing.

Decorative Icing
1 cup powdered sugar
2 teaspoons powdered egg whites
2 tablespoons water

Whisk all ingredients together and put in a small plastic bag. Cut the tip off the bag and drizzle over cookies. Allow the frosting to harden completely.

If you would like to roll the cookies out and cut them into shapes, it is possible, but a little more difficult. Chill the dough for at least an hour. Roll it out on a generously floured surface between 1/8-inch and 1/4-inch thick. Cut out your shapes, sprinkle with sugar if desired, and place at least 1 inch apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Put the entire sheet in the freezer for 10 minutes. Bake at 375F for 10-11 minutes. They will spread a little, but the shapes will be recognizable.

Hearts.

This is the most fragrant cookie you will ever bake, and the dough…oh, my word…the dough is delicious. Ahem.

I love to keep some of the balls of dough in the freezer to pop in the oven when company’s coming over. The house smells heavenly and welcoming, and the cookies are always a hit. Keep warm, my friends!!!

Sunshine Award!

Posted on January 5, 2014 by Lorinda

It’s always exciting when a fellow blogger drops by to bestow an award. Today Confessions of a part-time working mom gave me the prestigious (!) Sunshine Award. I’m honored, and will be happy to play by the rules and give you seven random facts about myself, answer some questions, and pass on the love.

Right now I’m beaming sweetly at three pets and two men with all of my happy, sunshiny warmth. Excuse me? I’m a writer. I can spin this any way I want to! Neatly attired, makeup in place, hair coiffed, I am flitting around on this Sunday morning cleaning, baking, and spreading joy. As usual. Honest.

FANTASY

REALITY

Ahem. Shall we?

The Rules:
Display the award on your blog. Give 7 random facts about yourself. Answer the questions I had to answer. Then nominate any amount of bloggers you choose up to 11.

My 7 Facts:

Being in the garden grounds me. During the winter I drool over seed catalogs the way men drool over Victoria’s Secret catalogs. I close my eyes and imagine the heat of the sun on my shoulders, and am happy waiting for spring.
I am an empath. I often feel pain and distress that others are feeling, even if they are just acting a part. I have a terrible time watching a movie where someone is being hurt – emotionally or physically. It also makes me uncomfortable around strong emotions of any sort. I won’t deny you a shoulder to cry on, but will be very, very happy when everything’s back to normal.
I dog-ear books, which is a bad habit that I’ve been trying hard to break. Don’t lend me any books! I have so many bookmarks for this purpose, but still catch myself reaching for that upper right hand corner of the page.
I can’t resist black licorice in any form.
Housework is the devil. I do as much as I must just to be socially acceptable, but hate every minute of it. I did a lot of it when I was growing up; can I blame this issue on my parents?
I am “Eema” to my grandchildren, “Lorinda” to my past co-workers, “Lor” to my sisters and friend Mary, and “Lucy” to my husband. I’ll pretty much answer to anything.
I have no memory for faces. Unless I know you well, if we meet in the grocery store I will probably make generic conversation until I’ve placed you. It’s not intentional…just something I struggle with.

My Questions:

1. If you could go back in time ten years and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?
Answer: Work is just work. Don’t take it home! Scrape your feet off going out the company door and come home happy.

2. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Answer: Seriously? You expect me to choose just one? I have it narrowed down to three, but that’s the best I can do. Second runner-up is Rocky Road. First runner-up is Chocolate Chip Mint. And the winner is….Maple Nut.

3. If you were to take me on a date, where would we go and why?
Answer: The Fancy Food Show in San Francisco. We bonded over maple and chocolate – what could be more appropriate?

4. Above all else, what are you afraid of?
Answer: SPIDERS!!!

5. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Answer: Start a bakery.

6. What has been your favorite age to be and why?
Answer: 52. That’s when we retired and moved to the country. I felt strong and energetic and incredibly free.

7. Coffee or tea?
Answer: No contest! I love, love, love coffee. I even roasted my own beans until I blew up my little makeshift roaster. Some day I’ll get a real one and try again. I drink tea too, but I’m not passionate about it.

Well, that’s certainly enough about me. How about YOU:

Real Life Parenting
The Aliso Kitchen
Dried-on Milk
Crumbs in my Mustachio
Tampa Cake Girl
Hun, What’s for dinner?
Fresh Eggs Daily
Lemony Thyme
Cooking from a Stay at Home Mom
Manila Spoon

Resolution Rye Bread

Posted on January 3, 2014 by Lorinda

If your New Year’s resolution was to eat healthier, I’m probably not going to be your go-to blogger or your best friend. But just this once I’m offering a recipe that is actually pretty good for you! It’s a loose adaption of my Anadama Bread (which is an absolutely delicious bread) because I wanted to keep the corn and molasses base, while aiming for a darker bread using rye flour.

When I drive to town and back this time of year, I have to travel over an icy pass that is teeming with deer, moose, and lots and lots of wild turkeys. I have to take it slow, which gives me about an hour and a half of driving time – perfect for dreaming up recipes. (It beats listening to my own singing!) This is what I was dreaming about on yesterday’s drive:

Resolution Rye Bread

Author: The Rowdy Baker

A dark bread made with rye, wheat, and white flours. Cocoa and molasses give it a beautiful deep color and slightly sweet flavor.

Ingredients

¼ cup coconut oil (or butter if you wish)
½ cup molasses
1 cup cornmeal
1½ cups boiling water
2 packages active dry yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
1 cup very warm water
½ cup buttermilk
1 egg
2 cups rye flour
¼ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tablespoon caraway seeds
1 tablespoon salt
2½ cups whole wheat flour
3 cups all-purpose white flour

Instructions

In a large bowl combine the coconut oil, molasses, cornmeal, and boiling water. Set aside to cool, stirring occasionally.
Put yeast and sugar in a small bowl and pour 1 cup warm water over it. Let it sit until bubbly (about 5 minutes.)
Stir the yeast mixture, buttermilk, egg, rye flour, cocoa powder, and caraway seeds into the cornmeal mixture in the large bowl until well combined. If using a stand mixer, switch to a dough hook at this point.
Add salt and wheat flour. Mix well.
Add the white flour and mix well. If using a stand mixer, allow the mixer to knead the dough for 5 minutes. If your dough isn't coming cleanly away from the side of the bowl, add a little more all-purpose flour. If you will be kneading by hand, drop dough onto well floured board and knead for 7-8 minutes. The dough will look a little crumbly when you begin kneading, but will become soft and elastic.
Grease a large bowl AND your hands (the dough will be slightly sticky) and place the dough in the bowl, turning to coat. Allow to rise until doubled, about 1 hour. Punch down.
Shape dough into loaves. For round loaves, sprinkle a little cornmeal on baking sheet and set the rounds on the cornmeal. For regular loaves, form into two loaf shapes and place in two large greased bread pans.
Let the loaves rise until double, about an hour. For round loaves, slice a cross in the top of the loaf to allow it to expand.
Heat oven to 375 F. Bake for approximately 40 minutes. Coat warm loaves with butter or coconut oil if desired.
Makes two small rounds and a loaf, or two regular loaves or rounds.

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Ingredients.

Such pretty dough. Love the color and elasticity.

Punch it down

Form the dough (I made 1 loaf and 2 small rounds)

Risen and ready to bake!

Brushing the hot (FRAGRANT) loaves with butter for a little shine

I’ve been trying to stay away from bread lately, but threw all my good intentions out the window after making this. But…it really is a healthy option, as long as I don’t get carried away with the butter. Toasted with a little peanut butter? Oh, YEAH!

Christmas Candy (How Sweet it Is!)

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Lorinda

I have to really be in the mood for this…and TODAY IS THE DAY!

Forget for a moment that candy making doesn’t have anything to do with baking. It’s still sweet and good and sometimes challenging. Right up my alley!

Most of my recipes were handed down from my Aunt Pat. We could always count on a big tin of homemade candies on Christmas Eve – the highlight of the evening! She’s gone now, but her torch will be carried on as long as I can wield a wooden spoon and candy thermometer.

Before I start throwing recipes and photos at you, there are a few recommendations I’d like to share.

Make sure your candy thermometer is accurate. A couple of my recipes just go by time (boil for 5 minutes) but most candy needs to reach a very specific temperature to come out right.
I usually just let ‘er fly in the kitchen, but this is one of those times when you need to be prepared before you turn on the stove. If your pans need to be buttered or lined, do it first. Measure out everything, because there will be no time to be looking for the vanilla or measuring the butter when your candy is at the correct stage.
Be careful! This stuff is HOT. Wear oven mitts when you’re pouring candy onto a pan or dish.
Above all, this is not the time to use store brand ingredients. Quality counts when you’re making candy! Good butter, cane sugar…very, very important. I usually avoid corn syrup like the plague, but there are times when it really is necessary. This is one of them! I’ll go back to being conscientious after the holidays.

My favorite – absolute favorite of Aunt Pat’s recipes is her peanut brittle. If you look online, you’ll find many recipes, with a few variations. This is my standard. I’ve tried the microwave brittle, and it was OK, but nothing compares to this. In my opinion, peanut brittle needs to be so thin it melts in your mouth. If you don’t agree, just don’t stretch it out as much. You probably won’t burn your fingertips as often as I do!

Peanut Brittle

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Ingredients

3 ½ cups white sugar
1 ½ cups white Karo corn syrup
2 cups water
4 Tablespoons butter (NOT margarine!)
1 pound raw Spanish peanuts
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 Tablespoon baking soda

Instructions

Before beginning, generously butter at least 3 cookie sheets or flat pans.
In a large pot, stir together the sugar, corn syrup, and water on medium high heat until it comes to a boil. Boil until 250 degrees, stirring occasionally.
Add peanuts and butter. Stirring constantly, continue to cook until mixture turns color (310 degrees).
Remove from the burner and stir in vanilla and soda. It will foam up! Stir until most of the foam disappears. Pour onto cookie sheets. Spread as thinly as possible. (Hardens rapidly!) As it cools, pull the edges of brittle with buttered fingers or forks, to stretch thin. After a few minutes you should be able to lift one side and pull and stretch the whole piece even more.

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Ingredients for Peanut Brittle

And….310 degrees!

Pour it out on buttered sheets and quickly start spreading!

Lifting and stretching (Oh, boy…I sound like Richard Simmons.)

~~Almond Roca~~ er… Chocolate Almond Toffee (don’t want to get in trouble with the copyright patrol) was probably my least favorite Christmas candy as a child, but I can’t get enough of it now. The homemade version is much more tender and delicious than the storebought kind – trust me on this. And it’s so very simple. Just remember: use good butter! The times I’ve had this candy separate (a total “fail”) I used cheap butter. I use a heavy skillet – I guess because Aunt Pat did. This is a little challenging with a candy thermometer, so if you want to use a heavy saucepan, that’s fine.

I have no in-process photos, since I forgot to put the card in my camera and there was no time to remedy that situation. If I make another batch, I’ll add them later.

CHOCOLATE ALMOND TOFFEE

1 lb. salted butter (quality counts—buy the best!)
2 cups white sugar
1 12-oz bag milk chocolate chips
Chopped raw almonds (approx. 4 cups)

Generously butter a 9″ x 13″ baking pan. Sprinkle in enough chopped almonds—approximately half—to lightly cover the bottom of the pan.
Melt butter and sugar in a heavy pan on medium heat, stirring constantly until hard crack stage (290 degrees). The mixture should just be turning a light caramel color. Immediately pour toffee over the almonds in the pan. Smooth with a spatula.
Sprinkle on the chocolate while the toffee is still hot. Wait a few minutes for the chocolate to melt, then spread evenly over the toffee. Sprinkle remaining almonds over the chocolate. Let harden and break into serving pieces. This keeps well in a covered container for at least two weeks.

How can you resist this?

And…it wouldn’t be Christmas without DIVINITY!

Divinity is the bane of my existence. My kryptonite. And yet, each year, I make the stuff because it’s so…so…well, DIVINE!

It’s tricky stuff! Basically, you will be successful if you follow these three rules:

Don’t make it on a day with high humidity. If it’s raining outside, make something else!
Make sure to cook the syrup to 260 degrees (or a hair higher.)
DO.NOT.UNDERBEAT!

One time I beat the mixture until it was a dry, crumbly mess, so I tend to shy away from mixing it as long as it needs to set up properly. Big mistake.

If you drop the freshly made candy on parchment or waxed paper, it should hold its shape…like a haystack (only prettier!) but my batch today fell a bit flat, like a thick pancake. It still tastes wonderful and the texture is correct, but with just another minute or two of beating it would have been perfect. I don’t have it in me to try another batch, so you will just have to imagine what these confections should have looked like.

Don’t even attempt this recipe unless you have a sturdy stand mixer. My first batch today was a fail because I tried to use a hand mixer so that I could get better photos. My brand new hand mixer. My brand new hand mixer that may have a burned-out motor now.

Have I scared you? If so, I’m sorry – it’s tricky, but certainly not impossible. Give it a try. One bite of this candy will make you SO glad you did!

DIVINITY

2 1/3 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
2/3 cup white Karo
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 egg whites, room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla (I use Wilton’s clear vanilla for this)
1 cup chopped walnuts

In a medium saucepan bring the sugar, water, Karo, and salt to a boil on medium heat, stirring constantly. Once mixture has come to a boil, stop stirring and let it cook until it reaches 260-262 degrees F.
While mixture is boiling, beat the egg whites in a large bowl, until stiff peaks form. Use a stand mixer for this!
As soon as the temperature of the syrup reaches 260-262 F, pour the hot syrup in a very thin stream over the egg whites with the mixer running. Hold the pan up high so the syrup doesn’t get added too quickly. You don’t want to fry those eggs!
Beat the mixture on medium high until it begins to lose its gloss and gets very thick. This could take 10 minutes or more. Don’t give up! Depending on your mixer, you may need to finish stirring it by hand. If you aren’t sure the candy is firm enough, drop a little bit onto a piece of waxed paper. If it holds its shape, it’s done. If it flattens into a puddle, keep mixing!
When the mixture is thick, add the vanilla and chopped nuts. Mix to combine.
Drop spoonfuls onto parchment or waxed paper. Let the candy dry for several hours before putting into a container.

Pouring hot syrup in a thin stream over egg whites.

Almost ready!

This is one time when I’d trade my beloved Bosch mixer for a Kitchen Aid. It’s a lot easier to scoop the candy out if it’s in a normal bowl. But…there’s more left over in the bowl for me to eat with a spoon this way. Yay!

Here is a candy that makes a lovely gift. (Merry Christmas to ME!)

Chocolate caramels are chewy but not too chewy – just right. You can wrap them up in parchment and twist the ends, wrap them in waxed paper like a package…ribbons and all, if you wish, or you can dip them in chocolate. I put a little coarse salt on the top of the dipped ones and painted them with gold powder. (This can be found at a cake supply store or online.)

Instead of vanilla I used Kahlua, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think it really made much difference. If you have Kahlua, by all means use it, but vanilla is just fine. These are very easy to make, and delightful to receive.

CHOCOLATE CARAMELS

2 cups sugar
1 cup half & half
1 teaspoon espresso powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup white Karo corn syrup
1 cup butter
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 teaspoon vanilla (or 2 teaspoons Kahlua)
1 cup coarsely chopped toasted pecans (see below recipe for toasting instructions)

Line an 8×8 or 9×9 inch square pan with parchment. Butter lightly.
In a 3 quart pan, combine sugar, half & half, espresso powder, salt, corn syrup, butter, and chocolate.
Using a candy thermometer and stirring constantly on medium-low heat, boil until 248 F.
Remove pan from burner and let the mixture cool until it is approximately 230 degrees (about 5 minutes.)
Stir in the vanilla (or Kahlua) and the pecans. Pour into prepared pan and allow to cool until very firm – 2-3 hours.
Lift the block of caramel out of the pan and set on cutting board. With buttered knife, cut into 1-inch strips. Cut strips to make 1-inch squares.
Wrap individually in parchment or waxed paper, or dip in chocolate and refrigerate just until chocolate is set.

Line pan with buttered parchment. (Just one direction is fine.)

You can tell it’s ready – see how thick it is?

Cut into squares.

Wrap ’em in parchment…

Or waxed paper

Or dip ’em in chocolate!

Gussy them up for that “Wow” factor.

One more recipe for you…

Maple Nut Fudge is creamy and crunchy at the same time. How irresistible is that?
*Update* I found the fudge is firmer if cooked to 235 F. And I tried a batch with lots of toasted pecans, and it tasted just like maple nut ice cream. SO good!

MAPLE NUT FUDGE

2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons butter
1 cup evaporated milk
2 tablespoons light corn syrup (Karo)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups miniature marshmallows
12 ounces white chocolate chips
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
1 tablespoon maple flavoring (like Mapleine)

Line a 9-inch by 9-inch pan with buttered foil or parchment.
In a 4 quart saucepan, combine the sugar, butter, milk, corn syrup, and salt.
On medium heat, stirring constantly, bring mixture to a boil and cook until 235 F. (about 5-6 minutes)
Remove pan from the burner and stir in the marshmallows, chips, and walnuts. When the chips and marshmallows have melted, add the maple flavoring and stir for one minute.
Pour into the prepared pan and let set until firm. (Once it’s cool, you may refrigerate it to speed up the setting process.)
Cut into squares.

There are so many wonderful candy recipes waiting to be tried, but tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am officially out of the kitchen! I hope you won’t wait for next Christmas to enjoy some of these; Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, you know!

Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Lorinda