Fly on the Wall – July

Posted on July 26, 2013 by Lorinda

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 12 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house, and then click on the links at the bottom of the page and check out the other posts!

You know…I’ve tried my best to be gracious and welcoming, inviting you into my house month after month. But you are beginning to get on my nerves, staying too long and bringing all your friends and relatives with you to buzz around my face when I’m working. I hate to do this, I really do, but unless you leave your pack of hooligan besties at home, I’m going to have to bring out the big guns!

Thank you. That’s more like it!

You have no problem coming and going as you please, since I’m in and out of the house a hundred times a day. Weeding, picking, watering…garden season is in full swing. I’ve picked over 20 pounds of raspberries, with many many more ready to ripen. You get swatted at every time I make jam, don’t you? At least you know enough to ditch the kitchen when my husband points the vacuum wand at you!

The back porch smells like a skunk because I’m drying garlic. I wish you could smell it here when I start dehydrating garlic and onions for my spice mixtures. Whooooeeeee. Smells like an Italian restaurant exploded. But in a good way, of course.

Most of the time I’m pretty cheerful. Pollyanna-ish, even. Except when I’m being a raving bitch. It was in the high 90s Wednesday, which is sure to make me grumpy, and I was feeling very sorry for myself when I surveyed the mountain of dishes in my kitchen. So…I wrote a post. I’m pretty sure anyone over 40 can relate, and if you’re younger…your day will come! Wednesday Whine

It’s not all work and sweat though. My friend Sue sent me over a bottle of wine, a fluffy, feathery wine stopper, and a box of Jelly Bath. I knew exactly what to do with the wine and stopper, of course, but hadn’t tried the Jelly Bath before. I Googled it and decided our septic tank was too sensitive to put it in the tub, but OH.MY.WORD…what a foot bath! It just took a little to turn a big bowl of hot water into a squishy, heavenly, indulgent soak. The mixture stayed hot for a looong time, and I loved every second of it.

The hammock got washed and hung for the summer. We put yellow jacket traps in all the surrounding trees (yes, it totally looks ghetto) and they’re leaving me alone to swing and read in peace. Sweet.

Totally random, I know, but in case anyone is wondering, this old gal wears Spongebob jammies. On second thought, if anyone IS wondering, that’s really creepy. Let me know so I can ban you from my blog. That is all.

Last month I showed you my “weeder’s tan” – that strip of tan across my back where my shirt rides up and my pants ride down as I’m bent over weeding. I’ve found a way to eliminate that, and it doesn’t require any stinky self-tanner!

Ahhhhh.

I hate to use the word “inhibited”, because it sounds so uptight, but I was certainly a modest young woman in the early ’70s. Definitely not a “dance naked to the music under a black light” kind of girl. Now I am coming into my own and discovering how liberating it is to sun worship (aka: picking peas and weeding) without a pesky shirt in my way. As long as I stay in the upper left quadrant of my garden, I have total privacy. Well, at least I thought I did until I saw YOU buzzing in the kitchen window. See anything you like, fly?!

As a fly on my wall, you’re privy to everything that is going on – not just the funny and entertaining stuff. So you’ve seen a lot of eyes wiped and noses blown recently, because our beloved German Shorthaired Pointer, Heidi, is in her final days. The vet gave her a month, but I think we will be taking her for the long ride in the next few days. She’s full of cancer, and I won’t let her suffer.

We’re going to bring her home and lay her to rest by the chicken coop where she can guard her feathered friends.

Escorting the prisoner back to the flock.

She’s had the best life any dog could hope to enjoy – hills to run, gophers to unearth, chickens to herd, and lots of love. I know I’ll see her at the bridge.

I’m sure it smacks of passive-aggressive behavior, but since my husband never reads my blogs, I feel perfectly justified in poking fun at him. There are no small children here with their clever little thoughts, so I have to find my material where I can.

Whoops!

He’s been losing weight, and is too frugal to buy new jeans. He went out to gather eggs and came back up the porch with both hands full of eggs and his pants beginning to fall down. By the time he got over to the counter they were around his ankles, and I just happened to have the camera in front of me. Oh yes…I got the shot even though I was laughing so hard I thought it would be all blurry. Actually, I got two photos, but the next one has him turning around glaring at the camera (okay, at me!) and I don’t think anyone wants to see that!

That’s all I’ve got, so this would be a good time to go visit these wonderful blogs:

Baking In a Tornado
Stacy Sews and Schools
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
The Momisodes
Follow Me Home
Moore Organized Mayhem
Hypnotic Bard
Spatulas on Parade
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others

Wednesday Whine (Why I’d rather be baking!)

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Lorinda

I am sick and tired of cooking. No, that’s not right. I don’t mind the act of cooking – what I really hate is cleaning up after myself.

Let’s see. I got married when I was 18, so even if you only figure one meal a day (and believe me, that’s a very conservative number) and throw in a handful of breakfasts, that’s 15,000 meals. Fifteen.Freakin’.Thousand!

It was 96 degrees here today, so I planned a simple chicken salad. Here’s how that worked out:

I baked a loaf of sourdough rye bread in the morning.
• One small bowl for the “sponge”
• One mixing bowl and dough hook
• Two measuring cups, 2 measuring spoons
• One large bowl for letting the dough rise
• One bread pan
• One lasagna pan to add steam to the oven
• One serrated knife to cut the bread
• One bread board
• Oh, and one butter knife!

Boiled and deboned a chicken. Couldn’t waste the broth, so added veggies and cooked it down to put in the freezer. I have a sick dog, so I also cooked some rice using some of the broth and added chicken and cottage cheese.
• One large stock pot
• One cutting board and knife for the veggies
• One small pan for the rice
• One measuring cup and spoon
• One bowl for the dog food mixture
• One strainer for the broth

Made the salad.
• One knife for the lettuce (I know. I cut instead of properly tearing the lettuce. Don’t judge!)
• One strainer to wash the lettuce
• One peeler for the cucumber
• One cutting board for the cucumber, Kalamata olives, tomatoes, and green onions
• One grater for the fresh Parmesan cheese
• One salad bowl and salad tongs

Made croutons, using the rye bread
• One knife
• One cutting board
• One small bowl for tossing the bread cubes in oil and seasonings
• One cast iron skillet for cooking the croutons.

Made dressing
• One small bowl
• One whisk

Add two dinner plates, forks, and ~~wine~~ water glasses. Do you see why my kitchen is never spotless? If I could just be “normal” and buy a pre-cooked chicken, some salad greens, a bottle of dressing, and a bag of croutons my life would be so much simpler. But I can’t DO that. Well…occasionally I’ll break down and go the easy route, but I save money this way and make sure we don’t eat ingredients that I can’t pronounce.

But the real bitch of this is, even though everything tastes great, it’s just another meal.

Baking is even messier, but the reward is something that is covered with chocolate, or filled with maple cream, or bursting with raisins. Baking is a joy.

Sometimes I cook because it’s fun, but mostly I cook because I must. And since I don’t have a maid to clean up behind me, I spend a lot of time doing dishes that never end. Tonight was #15,001.

And that’s what wine is for.

Coconut Key Lime Cookies

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Lorinda

So I bought this bag of Key limes the other day. Well…let’s back up. First I bought a 6-pack of Corona beer, and as I raced through the produce department I saw the Key limes. I glanced around for regular limes but didn’t see any and was too lazy to go hunt them down, so I grabbed the bag, knowing full well that I’d have to come up with some kind of a recipe to use them all in – long after the beer was gone.

It’s your lucky day, because out of that impulse purchase emerged a recipe for a cookie that is rich and buttery, bursting with coconut, and has a subtle “pop” of lime. Perfect with a glass of iced tea.

I tried them three ways: plain, sporting a fresh raspberry in the center, and with a dollop of raspberry jam. My favorite? The fresh raspberry cookie calls to me, because if you refrain from shoving the whole cookie in your mouth (no names will be mentioned here) you can nibble at the cookie and savor the anticipation of the moment you bite into the berry and get that burst of contrasting flavor. I would like to note, however, that if you aren’t planning to serve them within 24 hours, you may want to stick with the plain or jam version. Fresh berries aren’t very appealing after a day or so.

I used virgin coconut oil to add extra coconutty flavor, Key lime juice (those little buggers are a pain to squeeze) and a teaspoon of grated lime peel. If you want a stronger hit of lime, double the lime peel. DO NOT TASTE THE DOUGH, because you won’t want to stop, I promise. I got 24 cookies out of this recipe, though I’m sure without two people “testing” the dough there would have been a few more.

“Plain” (if you could call it that!)

Fresh raspberry center.

With raspberry jam.

When you buy Key limes, look for fruit that is more yellow than green, which means it’s riper and not quite as tart. Those little guys pack a wallop, especially when they’re dark green, but any bitterness is hidden in these cookies.

Coconut Key Lime Cookies

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Chewy coconut, tart lime, and buttery dough make a perfect cookie to serve with a glass of iced tea. Makes 24 cookies.

Ingredients

½ cup butter, softened
¼ cup virgin coconut oil
½ cup granulated sugar
½ cup powdered sugar
½ cup cornstarch
1 egg yolk
½ teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons Key lime juice
1 teaspoon (gently packed) finely grated Key lime peel (or more - your call!)
2 cups flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup shredded coconut
fresh raspberries or raspberry jam, if desired

Instructions

Heat oven to 375 F.
In large bowl, cream together the butter, coconut oil, sugar, powdered sugar, and cornstarch.
Add egg yolk, vanilla, lime juice, and lime peel and mix together well.
Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix well.
Stir in coconut.
Using cookie scoop or rounded tablespoon, drop cookie dough onto ungreased baking sheet. If you are not adding raspberries, flatten the dough slightly with the bottom of a drinking glass and bake for 12-14 minutes, until the cookies are golden brown around the bottom.
If you are adding raspberries, use your thumb to make a well in each ball of dough and fill with either a fresh berry or a small spoonful of jam. Bake 12-14 minutes, until the cookies are golden brown around the bottom.
Cool on the cookie sheet for a few minutes and then transfer to a rack to continue cooling.

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Get ready!

For plain cookies, slightly flatten the scooped dough.

If you’re using raspberries or jam, make a well and fill ‘er up!

Baked and ready to be moved from baking sheet to rack.

Hopefully you left a couple of limes for your Corona (get ready to pucker), but you might want to save that for later; the cookies are for NOW! Enjoy.

Buttershots Crisps

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Lorinda

If you’re looking for a crispy little cookie to dunk in your tea or coffee, Buttershots Crisps are perfect for the job! They are a very sweet, thin cookie with a mild butterscotch flavor. If you are really, really into butterscotch and want an intense flavor, you can add a little butterscotch flavoring and it won’t hurt my feelings at all.

They’re good just sprinkled with coarse sugar before baking, but even better with a Buttershots glaze!

The garden is out of control (and so is the house) and with company coming soon I don’t have much time for blogging, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet and just go right to the recipe:

Buttershots Crisps

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Ingredients

1 cup butter, slightly softened
2 cups dark brown sugar
1 egg
3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
GLAZE:
1 cup powdered sugar
pinch of salt
½ teaspoon dry egg whites (optional)
2 tablespoons Buttershots liqueur

Instructions

Cream butter and brown sugar well.
Add egg and Buttershots. Mix thoroughly.
Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt and mix until combined.
Wrap dough in plastic and chill for at least an hour.
Heat oven to 350 F.
Working with half the dough at a time, and keeping the rest refrigerated, roll dough very thin (about ⅛-inch) on generously floured surface.
Cut out shapes and place on baking sheet, about 1 inch apart.
Bake for 9 to 10 minutes, or until the cookies are a rich golden brown. Allow the cookie sheet to sit on a rack for a minute or two and then move the cookies to a cooling rack.
While the cookies are completely cool, prepare glaze:
Sift together the powdered sugar, salt, and powdered egg whites (the egg whites will help make the glaze firm) and place in a small bowl.
Add the Buttershots and mix together well.
Spread over cooled cookies with a knife or pastry brush, or drizzle over the cookies using a zipper bag with the tip cut off.
Allow the glaze to dry and then put the cookies in an airtight container.

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Roll them out nice and thin and place on baking sheet. (In this picture I’d sprinkled them with coarse sugar, but the glaze is much better!)

Bake them to a nice, rich, crispy brown.

Mix up some glaze.

To apply the glaze, left to right, knife, pastry brush, ziploc bag.

I adore crunchy cookies, but if you prefer them chewy, you can roll the dough out thicker OR give them a little shorter cook time, OR leave them out overnight, lightly covered. Just don’t blame me if you try to dunk them and end up with cookie sludge in the bottom of your coffee!

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S’mores Soufflé

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Lorinda

Eating the toasty marshmallow first!

I’ve been on a soufflé binge lately, which is funny because until a couple of weeks ago I’d never even eaten a soufflé, and had never considered baking one! But for some reason I had my heart set on making them the focus of my monthly “Food for Thought” column in Yummy Northwest, and fell in love. (I was going to add a simple French phrase here, telling you how MUCH I love them, but Google confused me. Je les aime? Je les adore? That is why I took good old no-nonsense Spanish in school!)

Making soufflés was so much easier than I expected, and the best part of experimenting with them is you have to eat them right away! All of them, because they don’t last long without collapsing. When there are only two people in the household, this means gorging on warm chocolate fluffiness so they don’t go to waste. Yep, I’ve been a complete martyr to the cause. You’re welcome.

My concept of S’mores Soufflés worked perfectly – they turned out great and tasted just the way I imagined them. But…the pictures I took weren’t as cooperative. The chocolate soufflés look like they have an egg baked into them. Please look past this – because that is actually a toasty marshmallow. The great thing about this recipe is, when the marshmallow looks perfectly toasted, the soufflé should be ready too.

But wait, there’s more! These soufflés don’t deflate right away like most of them do. I had two taste testers this time. I ~~dragged~~ invited one of my husband’s friends into the kitchen as a guinea pig and did my usual grab-the-hot ramekins-and-scurry-to-the-table-where-the-plate-and-spoon-were-ready-for-action routine, waiting for the inevitable collapse, and it never happened! Two hours later I checked the remaining ramekins, and the brave little soufflés still held their own – not quite as tall and proud, but still attractive.

For my S’mores Soufflé, I took my recipe for Chocolate Mocha Soufflé (for three yummy soufflé recipes, click on this link: Yummy Northwest) and added crushed graham crackers in the bottom of the ramekin and a marshmallow in the center. I also added a little cornstarch to the hot mixture to stabilize it a bit so the marshmallow wouldn’t just melt into oblivion. Here’s the recipe:

S'mores Soufflé

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Makes 8 servings, using 10-ounce ramekins.

Ingredients

2 tablespoons softened butter
6 double graham crackers, finely crushed
5 ounces good quality dark chocolate, chopped
¾ cup sugar
⅓ cup flour
1 tablespoon instant espresso powder
1 teaspoon cornstarch
¼ teaspoon salt
1½ cups half & half
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 egg yolks, at room temperature
8 egg whites, at room temperature
¼ teaspoon cream of tartar
Pinch of salt
8 large marshmallows

Instructions

Heat oven to 400 F with rack in the lowest position.
Prepare eight 10-ounce ramekins by buttering them and dusting with crushed graham crackers. Sprinkle enough additional crumbs to thickly cover the bottom of the ramekins. Set aside.
Place the chopped chocolate in a large bowl.
In a medium sauce pan, combine the sugar, flour, espresso powder, cornstarch, and salt.
Turn the burner to medium and slowly add the half & half, stirring constantly. Cook and stir until the mixture thickens and just begins to boil.
Pour the hot mixture over the chopped chocolate in the bowl. Don't stir yet. Let it sit for 2-3 minutes until the chocolate is mostly melted, then stir gently to blend.
Allow mixture to cool for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the vanilla and the egg yolks, stirring to combine.
In a medium bowl, whip the egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form. (For best results, make sure your bowl and beaters are very clean.)
Fold the egg whites into the chocolate mixture in 3 parts, gently lifting from the bottom and turning mixture over the egg whites as you turn the bowl with each fold. A few wisps of egg white showing is fine, but don't leave any big blobs or the soufflé will cook unevenly.
Spoon into the prepared dishes, filling approximately ¾ full. Put one large marshmallow in the middle of each ramekin, pressing down until it just touches the bottom.
Place the ramekins on a baking sheet and put in the oven.
Immediately turn the temperature down to 375 F. Bake for about 15 minutes. The marshmallows should be a deep golden brown.
Serve immediately!

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My only words of wisdom are these:

Use squeaky clean utensils, and whip the room temperature egg whites until they’re stiff and a little glossy.
Use a light hand when folding the egg whites into the base mixture.
Preheat the oven well, and don’t open the oven door while the soufflés are baking.
And unless you have a few people ready and waiting to eat them, you might want to fill some of the ramekins, cover them tightly, and put them in the freezer; they can go right into the oven whenever you want a quick dessert!

Coating the buttered ramekin with crushed graham crackers.

Pouring hot mixture over chopped chocolate.

Whip the egg whites until they stand at attention!

Ready to bake.

Don’t let these little delights intimidate you! Once you let a bite of soufflé melt in your mouth, you’ll be a believer. I already have two holiday soufflé ideas spinning around in my head, and you can be sure they’ll demand to be tested this fall.
Until then, bises a tous!

Cheesy Hamburger Buns

Posted on July 5, 2013 by Lorinda

It may be considered un-American, but hamburgers just aren’t something I lust after. However, sweeten the pot with homemade cheesy hamburger buns and throw in an all-American holiday like Independence Day, and I can wave my flag and chow down a deluxe burger like everyone else!

Cheesy Hamburger Buns

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Makes approximately 18 hamburger buns.

Ingredients

2¼ cups warm water
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
⅓ cup sugar
⅓ cup butter
⅓ cup powdered nondairy creamer
1¼ teaspoons salt
1 egg
6-7 cups bread flour
2 cups grated extra sharp cheddar cheese, divided
Egg wash (1 egg, mixed well with 1 tablespoon water)

Instructions

In a large bowl, sprinkle the yeast into the warm water and let it sit for 5 minutes.
Add the sugar, butter, creamer, salt, egg, and 5 cups of the flour. Beat until smooth.
Slowly add just enough remaining flour to form a soft dough that pulls away from the side of the bowl.
Knead on a floured surface until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes. (Or, if using a stand mixer, knead with a dough hook for approximately 5 minutes.)
Add 1½ cups of the shredded cheese to the dough and mix until combined.
Place dough in a greased bowl, turning once to coat. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled. Punch down.
Working with half of the dough at a time, roll the dough out fairly thin - somewhere between ¼-inch and ½-inch.
Cut the buns using a large round cutter, floured well. Make sure the cutter is a little bigger than the size you want, because the dough is elastic, and the shapes will shrink back a bit after you cut them.
Set each shape on a cookie sheet, at least 1" apart. Cover with a clean towel and let rise until they're almost doubled - about an hour.
Heat oven to 375 F.
Brush the buns with egg wash and sprinkle with the remaining cheddar cheese. Bake until light golden brown - about 12 minutes.
Cool on a rack. Slice and serve!

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If the recipe looks familiar, that’s because I used my Perfect Dinner Rolls recipe as a base, and added an egg and some extra sharp cheddar cheese. Oh, and I cut the dough out instead of shaping it. And gave it an egg wash with a sprinkle of cheese. Other than that, it’s just the same!

The ingredient that I hate to use in this recipe is powdered non-dairy creamer (I try not to look at the ingredient label) but believe me, it really does make a difference. It acts as a dough conditioner and makes a very soft, light bun.

Cutting out the hamburgers. I used a 3 1/2″ cutter – 4″ would have been better.

I was a little more generous with the cheese when I topped the buns; it’s my favorite part – crispy and a little tangy. You may want to experiment with other flavorful cheeses like romano, asiago, or parmesan. Sprinkle on a little garlic or onion powder if you wish. They’re your buns – gussy them up however you like! And if someone tells you you have nice buns, just smile…because it’s true!

Lemon Meringue Roses

Posted on June 24, 2013 by Lorinda

Here’s a light little “puff” of lemony sweetness for you – perfect for a summer dessert. Reminiscent of cotton candy, it disappears in your mouth the second you bite into it…surprising and addicting. One is definitely not enough! Making these won’t heat up your kitchen and they can be as simple or creative as you like.

I began by piping roses and butterflies, but then (curse this lack of stick-to-itiveness) I took the easy route and used a scoop for the remaining batter, sprinkling them with nonpareils.

You can see by the photo that the butterflies were a little overcooked. They’re thinner than the other options, and I should have compensated for that. If you decide to make butterflies, only bake them for 25 minutes before turning off the oven.

Meringues are very versatile. In the past I’ve added pecans, cocoa powder, chopped chocolate and cherries. The important thing is to limit the amount of added goodies, and fold additions in gently so the egg whites stay fluffy. And I have to say, sometimes they’re better without all the bells and whistles. These just have lemon extract in them, and they’re light and refreshing.

Here’s the recipe. I’ll explain how to make the different shapes below.

Lemon Meringue Roses

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Makes about 24 large meringues.

Ingredients

4 egg whites (at room temperature)
½ teaspoon cream of tartar
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon lemon extract
a few drops of yellow food coloring

Instructions

Heat oven to 250 F.
Prepare two baking sheets by spraying with cooking spray containing flour, or by using parchment.
In a medium-sized mixing bowl, whip the egg whites and cream of tartar on medium high speed until they hold a soft peak.
Add the sugar, a little at a time, beating with each addition. Continue to beat until the mixture holds a stiff peak.
Mix in the lemon extract and food color. The extract will thin the egg mixture. Beat on high until it holds stiff peaks again.
Pipe or drop onto prepared baking sheets.
Bake for 35 minutes, then (without opening the oven door) turn off the oven and allow the cookies to sit for one hour. If you make these at night, just leave them in the oven to cool overnight.
Store in an airtight container.

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Whipped to firm peaks.

See? How easy is THAT? Now let’s jazz ’em up.

Meringue roses.

If you’ve ever made frosting roses, you already know how to do these. Put a 2″x2″ square of parchment on a flower nail using a little meringue to make the paper stick firmly. Fill a pastry bag with the meringue and, using a rose tip, make a cone shape in the middle.

Begin with a “cone” of meringue in the center of parchment square.

Squeeze the pastry bag firmly to make nice, fat, petals, going around two or three times.

Adding rose petals.

Carefully slide the parchment and rose onto a baking sheet. Repeat until you get tired of it, then scoop. Hahaha, oh yeah, that’s me. I’m sure you’ll diligently pipe all of the roses.

Meringue butterfly.

I made my butterflies using just two colors, but you could definitely go a little wild here. Add a little food coloring to small bowls of meringue, stirring gently, and put each color in a plastic zipper bag, snipping a tip off for piping.

If you’re the artistic type, go ahead and freehand your butterflies. Mine would have probably looked like vultures or something if I’d tried that, so I printed out a butterfly shape I liked from the internet and put a square of parchment over it. I could see the shape clearly through the parchment and simply outlined the wings with my darker color, added a couple of designs, then filled in with my lighter color. You may want to paint the “body” with chocolate after the cookie cools, but I kept it simple.

Piping the butterflies.

Don’t forget to cut your baking time back to 25 minutes to avoid browning.

Scooped meringues. (You could also use a generously rounded tablespoon.)

And…easiest of all, the cookie scoop method. Line the baking sheet with parchment and just scoop them on there. Sprinkle with nonpareils if you like – I think they look really festive that way.

Don’t forget to store them in an airtight container – that is, IF there are any left. Just a suggestion: dump out a box of some ghastly cereal that no one likes (something with “bran” in the name is good) and hide them in there. It works well for me! My lips are sealed.

Fly on the Wall – June

Posted on June 21, 2013 by Lorinda

Welcome to June’s Fly on the Wall, where you pretend to be a fly on the wall of 14 bloggers, and we in turn give you the down and dirty details of our daily lives. When you’re finished going through my dirty laundry, please click on the links at the bottom for more!

I am amazed that you took time out of your garage party schedule to come hang out on my wall. Seriously…how many of there ARE you and why do you love my garage so much? Don’t make me release the spiders!

So. The neighbor’s cows were trying to visit again, and The Man was out of town picking up his new truck and then visiting the grandbabies in California and friends and family in Oregon. (Don’t EVEN get me started on the unfairness of that.) I briefly considered grabbing his .44 and leaping on the quad, yelling “Yee Haw”, but then I remembered I didn’t know how to start the quad. I closed the gate instead.

Youngest son buzzed by for a quick visit to see what was on his seven – count ’em, SEVEN! – game cameras that are spread with scientific precision through the nearby woods. Moose, elk, bear, cougar, bobcat, rabbit, and skunk were caught posing for the cameras. Needless to say, I’m going to be a wee bit nervous next month when it’s huckleberry picking season.

He also, bless his heart, brought a lovely summer cold with him. As soon as he left, you probably saw me with gloves and bleach, cleaning any surface he might have touched. I’m no germaphobe (after all, you houseflies carry almost two million kinds of bacteria, and I’m letting you hang on my wall unmolested) but I also don’t have time to be sick!

Here’s this month’s before and after picture.

Dining room table before my son’s visit.

Dining room during son’s visit.

Did you hear about the fly that flew through a screen door? He strained himself.

~~Weed~~ Gardening season is in full swing around here. I’ve been trying to wear my overalls because they’re sturdy and stay up where they belong, unlike my gardening jeans. When I’m bent over weeding in regular clothes, I tend to get a really classy farmer’s tan…a strip between the bottom of my ratty tee shirt and the top of my deplorable jeans. Like this:

I guess I could break down and buy some “mom jeans”, but I think I’d rather sport the overalls…though they come with their own problems. For one, I look like a complete bumpkin. I know I am, but I don’t necessarily want to look like one! They also are not easily removable if a bug/spider/tick crawls up your leg, and I assure you that tucking the pants into my socks doesn’t help the bumpkin look one little bit.

But the BIGGEST problem is, I try to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated when I’m slaving away, and when nature calls there are gloves that need to be removed and four devious little hooks and buttons that need to be undone in a big hurry on the way to the house. While urine is actually a very good garden fertilizer, I think it should be used in a more controlled manner, if at all.

I think the overalls are going to go the way of gardening gloves – good intentions will be tossed aside – and if you stick around long enough you’ll probably see me heading out there in my jammies.

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta GO!

I love baby showers, and took these hors d’oeuvres to one given for my friend Taylor, who’s having twins in August. They’re poopy baby diaper appetizers. You don’t need a recipe. Just roll out puff pastry, cut it into triangles, smear with a mixture of refried beans and browned burger, fold up into a diaper shape, and bake at 400F until they’re lightly brown. Bet you can’t eat just one!

Poopy baby diaper puff pastries. Yummmm.

Anyone want a dog? He’s a very nice four year old yellow lab. He was a rescue dog, and while he’s improved immensely, he still has a neurosis or two. We can safely leave him at home now, but if he’s left in the house for even a few minutes when someone is here visiting, he chews something. He just can’t handle being inside while everyone else is out.

When he chewed up my couch, we hauled it to the dump and made do with just the loveseat and a couple of recliners. But…a neighbor came by and I was talking to her for just a minute (and didn’t want Otis to jump on her) so I left him in. A minute turned into twenty, and this…THIS is what happened. My poor loveseat.

Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.

Why do they make cushions that you can’t remove without tearing out staples? You can’t exactly patch something like that, either. What you can do is take a lovely fleece throw and tuck it in all around. Good enough! And…neuroses and all, I guess I’ll keep that bad boy. He’s very sorry.

Sorry, Mom. Please don’t hang one of those shame signs around my neck!

I know this isn’t funny or clever or shocking, but I got some beautiful photos here this month and want to share them with you.

The calm before the storm.

Crisp and spicy radishes.

Chickens in the peonies.

And because I can’t resist, even though I’ve been forbidden to add this to the post (bwa ha ha), your little fly ears weren’t wrong…you absolutely DID hear The Man in the kitchen making a cup of tea and singing: “I’m a little teapot short and round. Here is my handle, here is my weiner.”

Nope, they never ever grow up!!!

Please visit these wonderful bloggers and see what they’ve been up to this month:
Baking In a Tornado
Stacy Sews and Schools
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
The Momisodes
Follow Me Home
Moore Organized Mayhem
Hypnotic Bard
Spatulas on Parade
Dates to Diapers
Not Everyone Can Be a Mermaid
Evil Joy Speaks

Banana Split Muffins

Posted on June 18, 2013 by Lorinda

I’m a huge fan of muffins, especially when they’re packed with fruit and topped with a crunchy streusel. I will happily forfeit the streusel for these sweethearts, since they’re drizzled with a rich chocolate sauce! For breakfast or dessert – bring them on!

The batter is flavored with vanilla and banana, with bits of fresh pineapple and strawberry folded in. The chocolate sauce is lightly flavored with cherry. Add a sprinkling of chopped nuts and there’s a party in your mouth!

Banana Split Muffin

Banana Split Muffins

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Makes a dozen muffins. I think the cake flour gives them a lighter texture, but if you don't have cake flour, just use regular.

Ingredients

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup cake flour
⅓ cup sugar
2½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup chopped fresh strawberries
½ cup chopped fresh pineapple (or use canned tidbits, drained)
¾ cup milk
1 egg
⅓ cup oil (I used peanut oil)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 large very ripe banana, mashed
1 square (1 ounce) unsweetened chocolate
1 tablespoon butter
3 tablespoons milk or half & half
½ teaspoon vanilla
½ teaspoon cherry flavoring (optional)
½ cup powdered sugar
Nuts, sprinkles, maraschino cherries...whatever you want to top the muffins with!

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 F.
Line cupcake pans with paper liners.
In a large bowl, combine the flours, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add the chopped strawberries and pineapple and toss lightly to coat the fruit.
In a small bowl, combine the milk and egg, and beat thoroughly. Add the oil, vanilla, and mashed banana and mix well.
Pour the liquids into the flour all at once, and stir just until it is combined. Don't over mix - it's okay to see little streaks of flour in the batter.
Divide the batter between 12 muffin liners and bake for 20-25 minutes. Cool on a rack.
To make icing: in a small pan on low heat, melt the chocolate, butter, and milk, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add the vanilla and cherry flavoring. Add the powdered sugar and mix well. If it is too thick, add a little more milk. Drizzle over cooled muffins (or dip the tops of the muffins in the chocolate mixture) and add toppings of your choice.

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Tossing the chopped fruit in the flour mixture.

Add the liquids all at once.

Don’t stir too much! It’s okay to have little pockets of flour like this. Ready to fill the liners and bake!

Making the chocolate topping.

Dip (or drizzle, if you prefer) and top with nuts, sprinkles, a cherry, or all three!

Okay…so you may have noticed there were no photos showing the filled muffin tin or freshly baked muffins. That’s because I didn’t have matching cupcake liners – and that is NOT photographically acceptable. I had to use a few of these, the last of those, and a couple of Christmas liners.

Guess it’s time to stop baking and go shopping!

French Rolls

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Lorinda

Crispy and crackly on the outside, soft and tender on the inside…that, my fellow carb fiends, is a perfect French roll. Dip it in au jus, slather it with butter and pull it apart piece by piece, or make it into the perfect “Dagwood Sandwich”. Make large round balls of dough and bake your own bowls for chili or stew. Roll the dough out and cut it into strips for bread sticks. If you’re drooling right now, just think how I’m feeling; in five minutes my fragrant batch of rolls will be out of the oven.

The recipe is very simple and basic, but it does rise twice before you form the rolls, so you’ll want to start these rolls when you aren’t in a hurry. One of the things I love most about baking French rolls is the noise they make when they’re cooling on the rack. They crackle and snap – beautiful music to my ears!

To make them crispy you need to start preheating the oven (with a big pan of water on the bottom rack) while the formed rolls are rising. This moisture is what makes the flaky crusty goodness on the outside. Be very careful when you open the oven to put the rolls in. It’s unbelievably hot and steamy. WEAR OVEN MITTS!

We had these a lot when I was young, usually used for “Dunka Dunka” sandwiches (aka: French Dips) or to accompany a salad. We always had them on Christmas Eve with cracked crab and a salad. Of course, they came in a plastic bag from the grocery store, and I thought they were just wonderful. I also thought Oreos and Jiffy muffins were great, so obviously it took me some time to develop a more sophisticated palate!

Try making your own. I guarantee you will enjoy these much more than store bought, and you’ll have the added satisfaction of being able to pronounce all 6 ingredients used in the recipe!

French Rolls

Author: The Rowdy Baker

Ingredients

2½ cups warm water
1 teaspoon sugar
2 packages active dry yeast
6 cups bread flour
2 teaspoons salt
Cornmeal

Instructions

In a large mixing bowl, stir sugar into warm water and then stir in the yeast. Let sit until bubbly (about 5 minutes).
Add 5 cups flour and the salt and beat with electric mixer, using paddles, for 5 minutes.
If you prefer to knead by hand, put the remaining cup of flour on the board and knead for 7-8 minutes. If you have a sturdy stand mixer and prefer to let the machine do the hard work, switch to your dough hook, add the remaining cup of flour, and let it knead for 5 minutes. Your finished dough should be smooth and elastic.
Place the dough into a large greased bowl. Turn to coat. Cover and let rise until doubled. Depending on room temperature, this could take anywhere from 1-3 hours. (A slow rise makes more flavorful bread, so don't rush it!)
Punch down the dough, turn it over, and let it rise again until doubled, about 1½ hours.
Punch down the dough and place on a lightly floured surface. Cut into 16 pieces.
Sprinkle cornmeal generously on two baking sheets.
Shape each piece into a ball or oblong and place on prepared baking sheets, at least an inch apart (2 inches is better.) Cover lightly with a clean dishtowel and allow to rise for 45 minutes.
While the rolls are rising, place a large pan of water on the bottom rack of the oven, and preheat to 450 F.
When the rolls have risen, dust them with flour and, with a very sharp knife or razor blade, cut a ¼" deep line down the middle of each oblong roll, or an "x" on round rolls.
Carefully (it will be HOT) open the oven door and quickly put the rolls in, trying to let as little steam escape as possible.
Bake until light brown, about 20-25 minutes, and cool on a rack. Listen to them crackle!