Getting chosen as a finalist in the Blogger Idol competition was a high that lasted several days (possibly extended by copious quantities of sugary treats and liquid grapes) but has finally settled into a state of Middle School Syndrome. You know…
“Would they like me better like this? Or maybe like this?”
“Should I change again? Maybe the other one was better”
“I don’t want to look snobby. But I don’t want to be a suck-up either”
“If I turn my assignment in first, I’ll look like a total dork”
Trust me, angst and insecurity aren’t just for the tween crowd.
I usually just write what the little voices in my head tell me to, and either people read my blog or they don’t. I don’t get paid by advertisers – I actually spend money just to bake, take photos, and spill my guts, so I don’t have to worry too much about saying the wrong thing.
But now, that’s changed. It matters. So pretty please…
I’m asking you to take a moment every Wednesday to read my assigned post and – if you like it – cast a vote for me. Voting will go from noon central time on Wednesdays to midnight on Thursdays. I’ll put a reminder (and simple instructions) on my Rowdy Baker Facebook Page each Wednesday. Don’t just stop at my post, though. There are thirteen of us competing and a lot of people who will be playing from home, and I assure you – their posts are always a whole lot of fun to read!
And in case it sounds like I’m taking this far too seriously, that’s honestly not the case. In spite of the rampant insecurity, I’m already having a blast with this. I love writing what someone else tells me to, rather than trying to come up with original ideas. I love putting a different spin on these assignments, just to please myself. And I tend to get a wee bit competitive, so YES, I’m definitely having fun. And I’d really like to stay in the running for a while!
Okay, I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded, and I’ve exposed my soft underbelly. (EEEUW, not really. That was just figurative. Shake it off, shake it off.) Hope I’ll see you over at Blogger Idol on Wednesday, where you’ll get to read our eulogies! Isn’t that festive?
Dump cakes are new to me. Whenever one would pop up on Facebook, I’d just move along because why would anyone want to eat something with the word “dump” in it? Seriously, can you think of a single positive connotation? Besides that, they use a boxed cake mix, which I try to stay away from.
Then I ate a pumpkin dump cake at a club meeting, and was smitten. The flavors, the crunch. (Cue erotic moaning here.)
When I was experimenting with homemade make-ahead cake mixes for my October Food for Thought column (which will be up on October 2) the logical thing to test it on – besides a cake – was a pumpkin dessert. I wheedled the recipe from the lady at club, added pockets of cheesecake to the recipe and used lots of pecans. I also may have topped the warm dessert with a scoop of maple nut ice cream.
And I was, for once, speechless. It was beyond good. My personal preference when it comes to desserts is for something plain. A slice of angel food cake. A brownie. A bowl of ice cream. I have no problem with making complicated recipes – the harder and more involved it is, the more I enjoy the process – but I would rather eat something simple, and this was just so…busy looking.
Honey, let me tell you – looks aren’t everything. The complex flavors will make you weep.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how to make the filling for pumpkin pie, right? You just grab a 15 oz. can of Libby’s solid pack pumpkin and follow instructions. Or you buy the pre-made kind in a can. Or you follow your grandma’s recipe with condensed milk or whipping cream and brandy.
The foundation of this dessert is a batch of pumpkin pie filling. Covered with dollops of cream cheesy goodness. Suffocated with a thick layer of dry cake mix. Drizzled with melted butter. Adorned with pecans. What’s not to love?
If you must use a boxed white cake mix, that’s OK. If you would like to make yours from scratch, here’s a small version of my cake mix. You’ll use about 1/2 of this (my cake mix is a little more generous than the packaged kind). Save the rest in an airtight container for your next dump cake, or check out the October Yummy column for the full cake recipe.
White Cake Mix
3 cups cake flour
1/2 cup dry milk powder
1 3/4 cups sugar (I use superfine, but regular is OK)
4 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Thoroughly whisk together all ingredients. Use half of this recipe for topping a dump cake and store the rest in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 2 months.
Serves 12 A scoop of ice cream is lovely over this warm dessert.
Ingredients
Pumpkin pie filling for one pie
1 8-oz package cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
¼ cup milk
1 package white cake mix, DRY!
¾ cup butter, melted
1 cup (or more) chopped pecans
Instructions
Heat oven to 350 F.
Grease and flour (I use Baker's Joy spray) a 9x13 cake pan or casserole dish.
Spread the pumpkin pie filling evenly in the bottom of pan.
Cream the cream cheese, powdered sugar, flour, vanilla, and egg together well.
While beating, slowly add the milk a little at a time. You may not need all the milk - it depends on the size of your egg. I use jumbo eggs and 2 tablespoons was just right. The goal is to have the mixture the texture of thick pudding.
Drop the cream cheese mixture in rounded tablespoons over the pumpkin. Take a knife and pull it through gently. You don't want to mix the pumpkin and cream cheese...you just want to have it evenly distributed. Another option would be to put the cream cheese filling in a zipper bag, cut the tip off, and pipe it all over the pumpkin.
Cover completely with dry cake mix.
Drizzle evenly with melted butter.
Sprinkle with pecans.
Bake for approximately 1 hour. Let it cool on a rack and eat it when it's barely warm.
Drop globs of cream cheese mixture over the surface OR use a zipper storage bag with the tip cut off to squeeze it evenly over the pumpkin.
(Yes, I know. I didn’t pull a knife through the cream cheese before I covered it with cake mix. I learn as I go!)
Drizzle with butter
Ready for the oven
I always get excited about new recipes (I wish I could be that passionate about housework) but this one has really stolen my heart. It is my new go-to Fall “company vittles” dessert, and will probably take the place of pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.
Now that I shared my new addiction with you, may I ask for a favor? Pretty please? I’m one of the top 13 finalists for Blogger Idol, and just finished my first assignment which will go live at noon on Wednesday, October 2nd. Would you please check it out and vote for me? Thank you, Foodie Friends!
Places, everyone! Um…watch out for that spider! I recommend staying up high on the wall, out of swatting reach but not in the corners where you’ll get tangled in the cobwebs. Now stop buzzing for a minute and listen!
Every month a group of bloggers gives you a glimpse of what you would see and hear if you were a fly on the wall in their homes. You’ll hear things that most people aren’t privy to, either because they aren’t important enough to be blog-worthy or because they’re inappropriate and potentially embarrassing. Don’t turn your little fly nose up at that; we KNOW what you like to eat outside! After you’ve skimmed through read my post, please click on the links at the bottom and check out the other 13 bloggers. See what they’ve been up to! September is my very favorite month. Would you care to guess why? Nope – I’m past the kids-back-to-school stuff. Huh uh, I don’t wear yoga pants. Nah, it’s too early for hot buttered rums! Give up? THE MAN GOES HUNTING!
For the small price of a two-day baking and cooking marathon, I get to send him and all the goodies out the door (buh bye!) for a week or more. Blessed silence! The whole bed! No cooking! This.Is.My.Time.
In theory. In reality, I actually got 4 days because my youngest son (“Lord Voldemort”) showed up, with a U-haul trailing behind him. He’s decided to move over to our side of the mountains. I love him dearly, but chaos sort of has a way of following him. You’ve been hanging out on the wall, so you know what I mean!
He settled in and then went out elk hunting with his beautiful big traditional bow that his brother made for him. Packing and driving over here had left him seriously tired. I’m pretty sure there was a hangover involved there, too. He scorns tree stands, just puts on a lot of camoflage and tries to blend in. Luckily he doesn’t scorn revolvers, becaue lying on the ground in a peaceful forest made him groggy, and he started dozing. He woke up just in time to see a pair of furry brown ears coming his way over a fallen tree and had a few seconds to abandon the big bow and draw his 44. He shot the bear at 8 feet.
Now, maybe he could have scared it off – but there sure wouldn’t have been time for a Plan B! So…he tagged the bear and brought it home. Don’t worry – I won’t post pictures. Except, here I am rendering bear fat.
Eeeeeuw. Rendering the bear fat.
It’s not a fun process, but it’s worth it to me. I use it in all kinds of things. The next night I made a chicken pot pie with a bear fat crust. Here’s a link to my Chicken Pot Pie recipe. I’m guessing you’ll be using shortening!
Chicken pot pie with bear fat crust!
Did you know that bears have penis bones (or baculums)? It’s okay, I didn’t know that either. They do, and here’s the picture of one to prove it:
Lucky bears (well not this one!) have penis bones.
Here’s how the whole bear penis bone thing went:
Lord V: “Mom, would you boil this down while I’m butchering?”
Me: What is it?
Lord V: “It’s the penis bone.”
Me: “And you want me to put that thing in one of my pots and boil it on my stove? Not happening.”
Lord V (in his best wheedling tone): “Please? I’m really busy.”
Me: “So am I, and HELL NO!”
Lord V: “But it’s hollow. You can use it as a straw.”
Here is a guy who can argue the crutches away from a one-legged man, and this was his best argument??? Bleh.
I have researched this baculum thing and find that monogamous creatures are less inclined to have these bones. Who the heck thought THAT was a good idea? Rotten deal, if you ask me. Just sayin’. I’d never eaten bear, and was understandably leery. I’m now a fan. It was delicious – just like a very tender beef pot roast. Honest! We had bear stew the next night. (So much for my no-cooking-eat-M&Ms-in-bed-ME-TIME!) Then The Man got home from hunting and the guys had bear fat biscuits and gravy for breakfast and bear stroganoff for dinner. And there is now double the chaos and noise. Chickens are molting so the eggs are getting scarce. But HOLY COW, some of them are doing their best to show me they’re not ready for the stew pot yet. Would you look at this?
Um….OW?
In a moment of self-indulgence after The Man went hunting and before Lord V showed up, I may have sampled this – in the name of research, of course.
Apple Syrup Martinis
My Yummy Northwest column for September was all about apples, and the apple syrup recipe is one I got from the gal who cuts my hair. I’m finding all kinds of wonderful uses for it. In this case, just put a little syrup in the martini glass, add vodka, and stir. Or, yes, you could put it in one of those shakers with some ice and shake. Either way – delightful! And because I can’t end any Fly on the Wall post without poking fun at my husband, and because I can NOT resist telling tales that I’ve been forbidden to tell, I will spill my guts about something that happened in the shop.I wasn’t actually in the shop (thank goodness) when this moment occurrred. The Man and his friend Greg were out there sitting in their chairs and talking like a couple of old coots. Lord V and I were in the kitchen. There was a very loud, weird-sounding gunshot and I jumped and possibly said something very bad.
Mr. Cautious was showing his friend the new gun Lord V bought and somehow forgot the first rule of gun safety. CONSIDER EVERY GUN LOADED!!! He shot a hole through the roof of the metal building. It’s a small hole, easily patched, but scary nonetheless. The Man was horrified and sheepish at the same time, because he is always so careful!
Hmmmm. That’s a terrible name for this bread, isn’t it? I mean, it makes me wonder who would eat a pumpkin sandwich! But if I just say “Pumpkin Bread”, people will scroll past my post because everyone has a recipe for sweet pumpkin bread, right?
So, to be specific, this is a yeast bread that is only slightly sweet, and is perfect for sandwiches or toast. It is soft and tender and slices like a dream. I’m super-excited about this recipe and pleased to pass it along to you! It makes three large loaves of bread or two loaves and eighteen rolls. Think THANKSGIVING, folks! These rolls would be a big hit.
My garden was less than cooperative this year. We got loads of potatoes, green beans, peas, and tomatoes, but almost no squash. Usually I have a wheelbarrow full of squash and sugar pumpkins, but this year I got two pumpkins that were the size of my boobs Satsumas, so I had to resort to canned pumpkin. Oh well, it’s lots less work and certainly convenient, though with all the pumpkin recipe ideas I have floating around in my head I’d probably better buy it by the case.
Pumpkin fever is a common malady among foodie bloggers. My first thought goes to sweets, of course: pumpkin cookies, fudge, muffins, sweet rolls, cakes. For grins I’ve been making myself think of non-sugary options, with some interesting results.
That’s the problem with being OCD. If I think of a new idea, it must be tried. That’s why the chickens get fed so many goodies from the kitchen! Last night I was making homemade egg noodles for a chicken soup (no, not MY chickens, thank you very much) and was compelled to add pumpkin to the noodle mixture. That was a winning idea and the guys gobbled them up with gusto, which tickled me; I love sneaking vegetables into food undetected.
Pumpkin Rolls – perfect for Thanksgiving!
We ate the pumpkin rolls with the soup, and between the three of us made a serious dent in eighteen dinner rolls. Even if you’re a yeastophobe (and yes, Baking In a Tornado I mean you) you really should give this recipe a try. It’s not that hard, honest!
A beautiful light orange bread that slices beautifully. Great for sandwiches or toast. Makes 3 large loaves or 2 loaves and 18 rolls.
Ingredients
2 pkgs active dry yeast
⅓ cup very warm water
pinch of sugar
1½ cups boiling water
6 tablespoons butter
½ cup molasses
1 cup wheat flour
2 eggs
1 cup solid pack canned pumpkin
7-8 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
Instructions
In a small bowl, combine the yeast, ⅓ cup warm water, and sugar. Let it sit until bubbly (about 5 minutes)
In a large bowl (preferably using a stand mixer) combine the boiling water, butter, and molasses until the butter is melted.
Add the wheat flour, eggs, yeast mixture and pumpkin. Mix well.
Add 3 cups of the all-purpose flour and the salt. Mix very well for several minutes.
Slowly add 4 cups of all-purpose flour, one cup at a time, mixing continuously.
The goal is to have dough that is soft but not sticky. It should come cleanly away from the side of the bowl. Add flour if necessary, a little at a time. If you are kneading by hand, this can be done by kneading for 6-7 minutes on a heavily floured surface. If you are using a stand mixer with a dough hook, add any additional flour as you knead for 5 minutes.
Place dough in a very large greased bowl. Cover with a clean cloth and let it rise until doubled, at least an hour.
Prepare bread pans by greasing generously (or spraying with a flour/oil mixture like Baker's Joy.)
Punch the dough down and form into loaves or rolls and place in pans. Cover and let the dough rise until doubled.
Heat oven to 375 F.
Bake rolls for 20 minutes, or until just beginning to brown. Bake loaves for approximately 40-50 minutes. The top should be a dark brown.
Allow the loaves to rest in their pans on a cooling rack for a few minutes, then dump them out on their tops to cool.
>If you read last year’s blog about my preference for a crispy, sinful peanut butter cookie made with shortening (Traditional PB Cookie recipe) you might remember that I wasn’t willing to compromise my ideal of the perfect peanut butter cookie for the sake of wholesome eating. Nope. And I still stand by my original recipe; it is just what you need for a crispy cookie.
BUT. I have a new love, and it is a buttery, tender, chocolate covered raisin-studded confection that is pretty darn good. You can ask my husband, who ate a dozen in five minutes. Seriously!
I baked them for 12 minutes, and they were delicious, but just a wee bit fragile. I broke a few when I piled them in the cookie jar. I don’t know why I even bothered in the first place, though, since they just got hauled back out of there and mauled by The Man. The last batch was left in for an extra minute, and it made all the difference. So, since all ovens are different (and mine happens to be a piece of crap that I don’t trust at all) go for 12 minutes on your first sheet of cookies and see what you think.
2 cups (or more) milk chocolate covered raisins (if you don't like raisins, substitute chocolate chips)
Instructions
Heat oven to 375 F.
Beat together the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until light.
Add the peanut butter, egg, vanilla, and buttermilk and beat well, until fluffy.
Stir in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Add chocolate covered raisins and stir until combined.
Scoop onto ungreased cookie sheets (don't flatten!) and bake for 12-13 minutes. Cool on the sheet for several minutes, as they're soft when first removed from the oven. Transfer to rack until completely cool.
When I was in my teens I made a batch of peanut butter cookies and ate a lot of the dough. A lot. Then I ate the cookies warm out of the oven. It was at least ten years before I could look at a peanut butter cookie. Just the smell made me ill. So, please, PLEASE pace yourself. A little dough, one or two warm cookies. This is the voice of experience speaking!
Also, just fair warning, it’s about time to start posting pumpkin recipes. I held out as long as possible, but other bloggers are putting theirs out there and I can’t let them get the jumpstart on me that way! Ready or not…
Here we go again! Never say die, right? Blogger Idol auditions are today and once again I am throwing my pride out the window and groveling for positive feedback. Please go to the BI Facebook page and tell them you’d like me to be in the top 12. Show your support here!
It’s not the prizes I’m after, though there are some wonderful gift certificates that would help my blog enter the 21st century. Take a peek: Cool Prizes!
It’s not the thrill of spending three months living, eating, and breathing Blogger Idol or the wonderful things this obsession would do for my marriage that floats my boat.
It’s not even the fame, fortune, ticker-tape parades, or million dollar publishing offers that would come my way as Blogger Idol that tempt me.
What really calls to me is the challenge of writing about things that are outside of my foodie comfort box. I played along with some of the assignments last year just for fun and considered it time well spent. The deadlines are a little daunting, but I thrive on adrenaline and could probably use the discipline.
And yeah, I also thrive on attention.
Scared to look! Only 12 finalists will make it through the auditions.
Stay close; you’ll either be wiping my tears or doing the happy dance with me when the finalists are chosen. Either way, every reader is truly appreciated, especially you! I’ll keep you posted.
Sometimes “yummy” just isn’t enough. Sometimes it’s necessary to go for the WOW factor. A visual delicacy…food porn, if you will.
So I made roses out of a rich dinner roll dough, turning them into dinner rolls and then cinnamon rolls. Both ways were hugely successful. These roses aren’t just appealing to the eyes, they’re also easy to devour politely, one fluffy petal at a time.
Manners were strictly enforced during my formative years. We knew better than to butter an entire slice of bread. Rolls were torn into small pieces, each of which was buttered just before it disappeared in our mouths. If I’d taken a bite out of a whole roll my father’s fist would have come down on the table sharply, making the silverware rattle. I’m grateful for the knowledge now, though the years of screaming babies (and shoveling food in as fast as possible while there was a spare moment) have probably made my manners pretty rusty.
Think about it – does anyone actually bite into a cinnamon roll? Personally, half the enjoyment I get from eating a cinnamon roll is derived from unwrapping it slowly, sticky fingers and all. But with these beauties, pulling the petals off one by one is just as fun, and a lot less messy. The dough I used isn’t too sweet, so it works well as a dinner roll, but is rich enough to turn into a cinnamon roll. I picture these rose shaped rolls on a buffet line at a luncheon or tea; probably not something you’d serve for a Super Bowl party.
Here is the recipe and lots of how-to photos. They really are simple to shape, just a little more time-consuming than regular rolls. Well worth the effort when you consider the visual impact.
1¼ cups half & half (whole milk will do in a pinch)
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup softened butter
¾ teaspoon salt
1 egg
4-5 cups flour
2 tablespoons melted butter
½ cup sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
Instructions
In a small bowl, combine the warm water and yeast. Set aside for 5 minutes.
Heat the half & half until hot but not boiling.
In a large bowl (I use a stand mixer) combine the half & half, sugar, ¼ cup butter, and salt.
Add the egg and mix well.
Add the yeast mixture and 3 cups of flour. Beat with a paddle attachment until well combined. Switch to a bread hook and add 1 more cup of flour and knead for 5 minutes. (If you are kneading by hand, keep the work surface well floured, as the dough will be sticky until it picks up some of the flour and the kneading is done. By hand, knead 7-8 minutes.) If the dough isn't coming cleanly away from the side of the bowl after 5 minutes of kneading, add flour a little at a time. You want a soft, elastic dough - not sticky.
Place the dough in a greased bowl and allow it to rise until doubled, at least an hour. Punch dough down.
Roll out dough on floured surface. The dough should be thin - about ¼-inch. Cut into 78 2-inch circles. (I used a small brandy snifter. You may have to get creative - milk jug cap, stainless prep cups, etc.)
Spray a muffin pan with an oil/flour spray like Baker's Joy, or grease well (including the top surface of the pan!)
For dinner rolls, stretch out 60 circles slightly-into a teardrop shape-and place in prepared muffin pan, 5 to a cavity. Let the rounded petals curve over the top of each opening slightly. Press the inside center gently and brush lightly with butter. Slightly stretch out 12 circles and place one in each cup, pressing down firmly in the middle of each and brushing lightly with butter. Cut 6 circles in half and with the straight side facing you, roll each half-circle up to create the bud. Place one in the center of each rose.
For cinnamon rolls, follow the procedure above, but dip rounded side of the large petals in butter and then in cinnamon sugar and place 5 in each cavity. Brush the bottom surface with butter and sprinkle with about ⅛ teaspoon of cinnamon sugar. Place the single circle inside and brush the bottom surface with butter and sprinkle with cinnamon. Then add the bud and brush the top of it, sprinkling lightly with cinnamon.
Cover the pan with a clean dishtowel and allow the rolls to rise until puffy-about an hour.
Heat oven to 375 F.
Bake for approximately 20 minutes, or until a rich golden brown.
Remove to rack and cool a few minutes in the pan - then remove rolls to finish cooling on rack.
Stretch the dough slightly, making a teardrop shape.
For dinner rolls, place five pieces of dough in the prepared pan to form outer petals
The only difference between the dinner rolls and the cinnamon rolls is a sprinkling of cinnamon sugar between each layer.
For cinnamon rolls, dip the petal tops in butter and cinnamon first.
Lightly butter the bottom surface, add single circle. Brush with butter and add “bud”
Adding the “bud” to the cinnamon roses.
Risen and ready to bake.
Baked and smelling goooooood!
Cinnamon roses with a simple glaze of powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla.
Hopefully I’ll never run out of new recipes to try, but even if I do, there are always old standbys to tinker with. So one of my father’s favorite admonishments: “Don’t play with your food!” is still ignored by me. Pffft…food is meant to be played with. Stop and taste the roses!
Every month a group of bloggers post what a fly would have seen and heard if it had been on a wall in their household. Little snippets of life that don’t add up to a blog, but may be worth tattling about. After you’ve read my post, please click on the links at the bottom and check out the others.
Do you wonder, little fly, why you’re still there on my wall? It’s because I can’t reach you and my husband can’t hear your constant buzzing. It’s no secret that he doesn’t hear well. We have the $7,000 hearing aids in a box in the bedroom as proof. He often doesn’t hear me when I talk to him (surprise, surprise) and then randomly thinks he hears me when I haven’t said a word.
Him, bellowing from the kitchen: “I can’t hear you!”
Me, from bedroom: “I didn’t say anything!”
Him, from kitchen: “Okay, that’s why.”
It’s a good thing he can’t hear eye-rolls.
Each summer I wait anxiously for huckleberry season. Those beautiful purple berries are featured prominently in my baked goods (yeah, yeah, and margaritas) throughout the year, and a good huckleberry year is cause for celebration. This was a GREAT year for huckleberries, but unfortunately my participation in it ended on our first outing when I sprained my ankle. My hero husband, however, went back out three times and brought home fifteen pounds of berries, which helped to ease the pain a bit.
Picture this: I feel and hear my ankle snap at the same time as the stick I stepped on snapped. Not a good sound. This ankle has been sprained several times, so I’m not new to the sensation, but this one really, really hurt! AND, to add insult to injury, I lost almost my whole bucket of berries. Any lurking bears got an earful. By the time it numbed up a bit and I could breathe again, my husband and our two friends helped me with the long hop back to the vehicle. I absolutely couldn’t make it any farther and dramatically flopped on the hood of the car. Then…then…popped my head up and demanded that my husband take a picture of me for Fly on the Wall.
Is that dedication to you guys or what?He took one look at me and said he didn’t think it was a good idea, but I insisted. When I got home from the ER and looked at the photos, I realized that he was rrrrrriiii right. (Please don’t tell him I said that!) I love you all dearly, and was willing to put a photo out there of my filthy, red-faced, ponytailed self, but these were heinous and you are NOT going to see them. Just use your imaginations if you must. Trust me, even the bears would have turned up their noses at the sight.
The Man really stepped up to the plate—not only with his ability to make gourmet meals, but with his artistic flair in the presentation of the food. Salads had perfect slices of tomato arranged around the edge and cucumber slices that looked like flowers. He toasted pecans and grated fresh Parmesan cheese. He sliced chicken breast and fanned it on the plate. He created a green bean dish that would make you cry happy tears.
He’s pretty much screwed, because I now know what he’s capable of. (And that, my friends, is the reason I have never learned to use the lawn mower, snow plow, or weed-eater.)
Chef’s salad supreme!
Weeks of cooking, doing dishes, and general fetching and carrying has taken its toll, however, because the other day he was complaining:
Him: “I feel like I started cooking two weeks ago and haven’t stopped!”
Me (smugly): “Welcome to my world”
Him: “No, thank you!”
Ah. Validation.
I knew I was pushing my luck, but I had this recipe developing in my brain (you have to do something when you’re lying on the couch all day being waited on) for huckleberry cookies and was desperate to see if it worked. It took four days, but I finally coaxed him into baking them for me. I printed up the recipe with lots of special notes on how to smash bananas, where to find the brown sugar, which kind of oatmeal to use…that kind of thing. I even got the crutches and went in the kitchen to help him, but was accused of micro-managing, so back to the couch I went.
The cookies smelled good. Really good! They looked perfect. Then I bit into one. Salty. Worried that I’d misjudged, I asked if he was sure he’d only used a half teaspoon and he assured me he had. Then he went and got the spoon. The half tablespoon. So…triple the salt, cinnamon, and baking soda. Yikes! Still edible, but not blog-able.
Banana Blueberry Cookies
Since I can put weight on my foot now with one crutch, I tried making them again yesterday (using blueberries since most people don’t have access to mountain huckleberries) and they were much better without half the spice cabinet in them. Here’s the recipe.
The same mild winter and cool spring that gave us a good year for berries gave us a VERY bad year for yellow jackets. I mean, ghastly. Here is a photo of a pile-o’-bees that were dumped out of three bee traps. One year I counted the yellow jackets in a full trap and it was over 1,000, so you’re looking at a minimum of 3,000 nasty, mean, relentless wasps, with a few bald-faced hornets mixed in. In case you’re wondering, bald-faced hornets have the temperament of yellow jackets on steroids and will chase you down until you reach the safety of a building. They must die.
Eeeuw. Have some wasps!
Right after this picture was taken, fresh traps were hung and by that afternoon the traps were almost half full again. It is making a dent, though, and hopefully we’ll be out of lockdown soon. Right now we (and the dogs and chickens) are only able to go outside early in the morning or after the sun sets. I will always remember this summer as the “Reign of Terror”.
I’m pretty sure I’m older than 90% of the foodie bloggers out there, so you’ll have to try to imagine the angst that goes into the prospect of a 40th high school reunion. My last minute weight loss hopes were dashed by two inactive weeks on the couch with my own professional chef who was discovering the joys of cooking. Damn. So the focus was on clothes.
Three events were planned: a Friday “casual night” at the local tavern, a Saturday “evening casual” dinner event, and a Sunday picnic in the park for my elementary school.
Casual night. Hmmmm. I think we’re the first generation to be heading into our 60s wearing jeans―no polyester pants for us! I’m pretty sure my overalls wouldn’t be appropriate, though. So…jeans and a comfy top. Easy. But on crutches, shoes were the problem. I’m vertically challenged, so I like to wear heels. The dog has systematically chewed up most of my flat shoe options, so I had the choice between wearing the checkered tennis shoes that don’t go with the patterned top, (though this meant I could use just one crutch), or the sandals with a nice wedgy heel that I wouldn’t topple off of unless I really hit the wine hard (with both crutches for support). I guess you know which one I chose.
Hmmm. Which would YOU choose?
Evening casual. What the hell is that??? A cocktail dress? (chubby knees, not happening) Did you know that there are almost no dresses out there for evening casual that aren’t sleeveless? (flabby arms, not happening) or form-fitting? (Where did my waist go? Not happening.) This was getting grim. I ordered a dress I liked but it needed heels, otherwise I looked like I was heading to church. Crap…back it went. Remember, the only store in our area is WalMart (SO not happening) and I was stuck on the couch, so a trip to the nearest city was out of the question. Time was running out and I was at the mercy of Amazon.
I ordered a fun skirt with sequins, which wasn’t as tacky as it sounds. After consulting with my fashion expert/daughter, it was determined that this skirt needed a green top. Not just any green…kind of a deep blue green. Two blouses were ordered. Neither one matched. I settled for a red and white dress, but then had the shoe conundrum again. Rush shipping delivered red shoes with crutch-friendly heels the day before I left. Just for the record, I’m wondering―who is the genius that said women aren’t allowed to wear pantyhose anymore? Pffft.
The picnic would be a slam-dunk, thank goodness. Tee shirt and jeans.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s hair, nails, and all those girly things that a much-abused husband will NOT shop for. (Bye-bye, push-up bra…definitely not happening.) There was also my lovely green and brown ankle that wouldn’t go with anything except a camo outfit from Cabelas. Green, brown and swollen. At 58 (and yes, I’m sure you’ve already done the math and this is not a big surprise) the only thing on my body that was TRIM was my ankles. Sigh.
So much was not happening. I won’t even go into my various attempts to give myself a French manicure. I garden, play guitar, and wash loads and loads of dishes every day. My nails were a mess. To do something about it I would have needed to have a steady hand and two eyes that focused at approximately the same distance. I settled for making sure they were clean. Meh.
But in the end, the whole thing was a riot! I didn’t notice if shoes matched dresses, if nails were done, and Lord knows I didn’t notice if push-up bras were worn. As a matter of fact, if it hadn’t been for pictures I couldn’t tell you what anyone wore. These people were friendly and fun; the rest just didn’t matter. It really, truly didn’t. It wasn’t high school, wasn’t about fitting in, and most of us had grown up and realized that it was friendship and memories that were important.
Well…except for the guy that commented to me that he liked the name tags because that meant he could stare at women’s boobs without getting in trouble. I guess there’s always one that’s lost in the 70s.
I’ve noticed you’re sort of buzzing in weak circles. Either you’re past your prime or my high drama is exhausting you! Why don’t you go check out these other blogs. If you’re still around, I’ll see you next month.
One of the simplest and most delightful cakes to make from scratch is an angel food cake. It doesn’t have the bitter tang of a boxed angel food cake mix, and can be gussied up with an endless variety of flavors and additions. As long as the additions are relatively dry and in moderate quantities, the sky’s the limit. I’ve used chopped cherries, shaved chocolate, lemon, and lavender so far with great results.
You don’t even need a tube pan; the batter works wonderfully in lined cupcake tins or even bread pans. For a beautiful presentation, however, nothing beats an angel food cake with the hole in the center filled with fluffy whipped cream. During the holidays of my youth, the whipped cream was flavored with crushed candy canes and marshmallows – a light, festive treat.
I was afraid that juicy huckleberries would weigh down the batter and keep it from rising well, but was pleasantly surprised to find that they didn’t affect the loft at all…just added an amazing pop of flavor and color. How could anyone resist a slice of huckleberry heaven? Of course you could use blueberries instead, but there’s just nothing like the flavor of a ripe mountain huckleberry. Take your chances with the bears, bees, mosquitoes, and fallen logs, and hit the hills for this precious bounty.
ANGELBERRY CAKE
1 cup sifted cake flour
1 1/2 cups superfine sugar (important to use superfine)
1 1/3 cups egg whites (11 or 12 eggs), room temperature
1 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon almond or lemon extract, if desired
1 cup huckleberries (or small blueberries) – divided
Heat the oven to 325F.
Prepare a tube pan by cutting a circle of parchment the size of the bottom of the pan and cutting a round hole in the middle so that it will fit over the tube. Do not grease or flour the parchment.
In a small bowl, sift flour 3 times with ½ cup of the sugar.
In a large bowl, beat the egg whites until foamy. Sprinkle the salt and cream of tartar over eggs and beat until they hold soft peaks.
Add the rest of the sugar, ¼ cup at a time, beating after each addition. Stir in flavored extracts.
Remove 2 tablespoons of the flour mixture and place in a small bowl with 3/4 cup of the berries (the remaining 1/4 cup will be used later for the glaze.) Toss the berries in the flour and set aside.
Add the flour and sugar mixture ½ cup at a time, folding gently after each addition. Add the berry and flour mixture last and very carefully fold into the batter to keep from deflating the precious air bubbles.
Put batter into the prepared tube pan and bake approximately an hour at 325 degrees, until deep golden brown on top. Turn pan upside down on rack. When cool, lift pan. If cake doesn’t come out, slide a knife around the outside to release it.
Note: You can also bake the batter in cupcake pans with liners, or in two loaf pans with a piece of parchment paper in the bottoms only. Don’t grease the pans! Cool the loaf pans upside down so the cakes don’t deflate. You may have to get creative—balance them between two pans or even coffee mugs.
HUCKLEBERRY GLAZE:
1/4 cup huckleberries
1 tablespoon water
1 teaspoon lemon juice
pinch of salt
1 teaspoon powdered egg whites (optional..this just makes the glaze dry firmer and faster)
powdered sugar
In a small pan on low heat, combine 1/4 cup huckleberries and 1 tablespoon of water. Heat on low for approximately 10-15 minutes to soften the berries and release the juice. Stir in the lemon juice and salt.
Combine 1 cup of powdered sugar with the powdered egg whites and gradually whisk into the berry mixture. At this point, depending on how juicy your berries are, you can adjust the glaze by adding more water or more powdered sugar to achieve a pouring consistency. Drizzle over thoroughly cooled cake.
Since I can never resist “gilding the lily”, I like to fill the center with fresh whipped cream with a few berries on the top. Dig in!
I’ve posted two blogs recently with NO RECIPES, and feel like I need to get something mouthwatering and indulgent on the site quickly.
But I have a slight problem.
Right now my butt is planted firmly on the couch with my left foot propped up on 3 pillows, because in my feverish quest for the elusive mountain huckleberry I managed to sprain my ankle. It would make a better story to say I sprained it when running from a bear, but I’m afraid I just wasn’t watching my step. Any bears in the vicinity, however, learned a few new words.
So, in honor of my adventure I’m stealing a recipe from an old column I wrote and giving it to you with the only photo I have. These luscious muffins are simple to make; I’m sure you don’t need photos of me stirring the batter. Once I’m up and running again I’ll make it up to you, I promise.
Huckleberries inspire me. They’re plump and juicy, and absolutely full of flavor. I add them to my angel food cakes, sprinkle them on pancake batter, toss them in banana breads, and even use them to make a mean margarita. You may, of course, substitute blueberries if you don’t have access to beautiful purple huckleberries, but once you’ve had a mountain huckleberry, blueberries will pale in comparison.
My granddaughter Sophie helped pick berries.
Here’s my recipe for Wild Mountain Huckleberry Muffins. They won a blue ribbon at our county fair, so I’m especially fond of them. Disclaimer: I don’t believe in sweet muffins (except for the topping, of course.) If I did, I would call them “cupcakes“! If you’re addicted to Costco-type muffins, you might want to try a different recipe, or add more sugar.
¾ cup small mountain huckleberries, fresh or frozen, divided. (Do not thaw frozen berries)
1 well-beaten egg
¾ cup milk
⅓ cup oil (I use peanut oil)
½ teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons flour (if using frozen berries)
Instructions
Heat oven to 375 F.
Mix together all ingredients for streusel topping (see below) and set aside.
In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt. Sift twice.
Add lemon and ½ cup berries, and toss. If you are using frozen berries, toss them with 2 tablespoons of flour in a small bowl and then add to the dry ingredients. Make a well.
In a medium bowl, combine the egg, milk, oil, and vanilla and mix well. Add all at once to the dry ingredients, folding gently just until the dry ingredients are moistened.
Divide between 12 lined muffin cups. Press remaining berries gently onto tops of muffins and cover with streusel mixture.
Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of a muffin comes out clean. Cool on a rack.
When cool, drizzle with icing (see below) if desired.
Streusel Topping:
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup chopped pecans (or walnuts)
1/2 cup brown sugar
4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
ICING:
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Water if needed to thin.
Mix together well.
Be assured that even though I can’t be up and baking right now, my mind isn’t idle. I’m coming up with some great huckleberry recipes to share over the next few weeks.
Happy huckleberry dreams!
And it begins.
September is my very favorite month. Would you care to guess why? Nope – I’m past the kids-back-to-school stuff. Huh uh, I don’t wear yoga pants. Nah, it’s too early for hot buttered rums! Give up? THE MAN GOES HUNTING!
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I’ve posted two blogs recently with NO RECIPES, and feel like I need to get something mouthwatering and indulgent on the site quickly.